I'm like a needle in a hay stack, not easy to find,
Cuz i'm one of a kind, i blow everyones mind,

You step up to the mic wit me, you stop breathin,
Everyone looks up to me, i'm the reason the world's still spinnin,

This shit i spit, just comes out to fast,
Any mc battles me, ain't never gonna last,

I hypnotise mc's, like i'm a magician,
Me beatin evry mc, that's my life mission.

Nice for a new guy, good self gloryfying but work on your structure, making your lines longer and adding more punches. Keep elevatin man.

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Daubs MySpace

^^^ Lol At Self Glorifyin ....... Tru Dat ,,, Yeh Tis Gud Fo First Time ,,, If This Wer Bigger It Wud Def Wrk Into Sumtin Gud... ~1~

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Ur wordplay is rubbish, 2 odvious and overused. Think of som intelligent original shit.
plus magicians dont hypnotise ppl, hypnotists do lol.
Basic rhymes try 2 xpand and use multis. More than 1 syllable rhymes needed.
Ur flow was pretty off. Try 2 make it so that wen u spit it it rolls off ur tounge and dosn't hav 2 many pauses that don't fit. Best thing is 2 keep ur syllable count 4 each line equal but this isn't completly neccesary it just helps.
Lyrically it was a mess, nothin original and had no real subject or point.
Structured poorly and not long enuf.

Keep it up, just work on it. It's called elevation the mor u try the betta u get.

Peace.

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~Wrekless

You know the rappers these days that snap then breeze ways//
In the opposite direction of the gat that he says//
He'll cap, if you aint on in don't say you are//
before someone engraves a scar on your inflated arse//

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