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06-06-05, 11:37 AM | #1 | ||||
Odi et Amo
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Gong Show (0-1) vs. The Revelation (2-1)
IP: 1AD2 C386
Battles up Monday - Check In by Wednesday - Drop by Friday - Votes by Sunday
No line limit and the battler with most votes by Sunday night is the winner. If this is a topical battle, write a topical and not a poetic drop and the same is vice a versa. All Battlers must vote on 4 other battles and leave their voting links in their battle thread. Battles voted on may be from either poetry or topical battles. If vote threads aren't in your poetry battle thread by sunday you will suffer a loss by Disqualification. Extensions must be asked for by Thursday night by pming any of the mods (Acuity, Drama Queen & Elementality). No extensions will be given 4 if asked 4 on Friday night. Extensions are only given till Sunday night at the most. If you dont ask for an extention, and drop whenever you feel like it you will be Disqualified. Do not abuse extentions, they are not to be used if you're just too lazy to drop within the confines of the circumstances. Leave reasonable explanation for your absense. If the League notices you are a slacker due to this nature you will be banned for being out-right slothfully callous. Every battler must nominate (not their own) one topical and poetry battle for pieces of the week, in the main forum . People with pieces of the week shall have their drops stickied and placed in the Pieces Of Inspiration sub forum Don't ho-show because you will be banned if you do it twice. We can understand you cannot drop due to certain circumstances but if this happens a second time, you're banned from the league for 2 weeks. If you signed up for both leagues and you no-show in one league twice, you will be banned in both leagues! Try to limit the freeposts, we will have a chat/beef thread for that. Also give fully explained votes, if not your votes won't count! Your Topic: Paradise Lost
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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06-06-05, 02:57 PM | #2 | |||||
Flyweight
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IP: E332 F469
chickity check.
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Spilled Inc.
-I write my dreams on a foggy window and watch them slowly fade away.-
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06-07-05, 01:01 PM | #3 | ||||
GG Haterz
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IP: 21EB E18E
.....................
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For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me ^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly. |
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06-07-05, 04:44 PM | #4 | |||||
Flyweight
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IP: 7085 21FC
Topical: Paradise Lost
I remember walking, on a trivial boardwalk of condescension Contemplating my comprehension…of first impressions Passing my past blessings, I second-guess my destination Estimations overwhelmed my over-obsessive temptations Questions came through in waves, in a stalker’s behavior If I didn’t try to be a savior, maybe than I could save her She wasn’t flavor of the week, even though she was unique Used to speak of this walk, when others critiqued her physique It was a threatening technique but it worked with diligence Intense suspense came to contempt as she promoted defense I was only trying to protect, paradise from being polluted But when an angel’s voice is muted, disputes are recruited Our thoughts commuted and clashed leaving me vanquished We attended a banquet she hated, leaving me fortune faded I invaded her personal space, as guys degraded my existence Just then, the wind off the shoreline assisted my condition …It pushed my inhibitions …………………………..off the palisades cliffs. * I saw her. The cherub that used to enlighten my nightmares Right there, sharing a soda with a man who just might care My eyes flared with fiery compassion to bring a rise from agony Raising the white flag in me, the devil turns over to speak to me. Resigns his position to those who condemn their souls for revenge And engrave it in a gem so they can propose a role to avenge Pretending to be in love, rejection came brutally unexpected My arteries flexed and clogged up to bring gluttony with excess, Tested arrestment, as I turned I learned a lesson on the nice spot On the boardwalk, I made a precise stop, went to exchange thoughts …which paradise lost. * I knew I could’ve provided better…than that man from the banquet But as I went to drop my obsession into her casket… .................................................. .It remained labeled “Vacant.” And that was the last time I ever saw paradise. With the man from the banquet. I then realized that I didn’t lose paradise at all. …Paradise lost her.
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Spilled Inc.
-I write my dreams on a foggy window and watch them slowly fade away.-
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06-10-05, 10:02 PM | #5 | ||||
GG Haterz
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Pair a Dice Lost
IP: EEE6 2792
Dusty streets and windy corners darkness covers land, While dogs bark, and children cry, dice are shot by man. A pair of dice thrown against the wall to much noise and disturbance, People shut their windows and just pretend they never heard it. '10, 10! Come on daddy needs a sweater and some shoes!' '9, I'm so sorry sir, but it appears to me that you lose!' "It's aight man, you'll get em next week," said his best friend John, He couldn't believe what he did, he lost his paycheck, what did he do wrong? Heartbroken and distraught the man walks to his home, Where he finds a note from his wife, inside he is alone. 'Honey, you have broken your children and my heart, Forever you will regret your choices, Sincerely, Landmark' He walks back out and starts writin in his mind, It's the only place he can hide and in true happiness will he find. 'I lost the money, the love, and soon my car and my crib, This ghetto they say is not for all, yet for some it is to live While sins lie unforgiven people read and think these rhymes are fiction. If only my testimony was heard and people knew the truth, Cuz you can lose your money, kids, crib, and I lost my Ru....' He never finished his thought because he was on the edge of town, He looked around but a torn and aged picture was all he found. So he bent down to look at the picture, it was around 1 in the morn, And at first he didn't reconize it, but soon realized it was porn. He looked at the woman and reconized the face, but it was too dark, But then he saw a tattoo on the woman's breast which read landmark. He couldn't believe it, his wife was a porn star, could this be, was it true? Maybe she did it before they were married and he just never knew. He looked on the date of the picture, 5-11-05, a month ago to a day, And they had been married for 5 years, there was just no way.. He looked harder at the picture and witnessed a scene which made him cry, His best friend was behind her, now all he could ask was why god why? Did I really mess my life up so bad that everyone would leave me? God I want to change my life around, please Lord forgive me! Then he felt something slide across his shoes and stick into the ground, He listened for something else, but silence outweighed the sound. He picked up the objects in the sand and looked at them with wettened eyes, It was amazing what he 'lost with these pair of dice.'
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Quote:
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me ^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly. |
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06-11-05, 09:30 AM | #6 | |||||||
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IP: 927A 13BE
Dayum..nice verses from both.
Gongshow - A good verse from you.I enjoyed readin it,vocab was excellent too. Cant really fault you anywere,never read your ish before but this was straight.good emotion,best thing was your vocab though.keep it up fam Revelation - Damn... I like the word play on the topic there...that was straight.Flipped it round to tell a great story.I really enjoyed reading this one too.Emotion was crazy,and theres loads of people that really go through that type of shit and loose everything that they ever had.You sick with these topicals...no doubt...kepp droppin fam. anyway...both were good verses...but ima have to vote for revelation.i just enjoyed it more to be honest.More original and i like the way he flipped it.good piece here.No hate..wun My Vote = Revelation |
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06-11-05, 12:33 PM | #7 | ||
Banned: For Being So Fly.....lol....my new account is Triple Sixes....
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IP: 473F 6D42
Both verses were extremely good both had potential in their verses but revelation showed a wordplay with the topic so that show alot of creativity good job to both of u bu tim gon have to go wit revelation cuz of more creativity it was a tie battle very close but revelation like i said showed a lot of creativity
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STARTING 2MORROW I WILL BE TRIPLE SIXES THATS GON BE MY NEW ACCOUNT SO THATS ME AIGHT CUZ IM SO FLY......LOL |
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06-11-05, 01:08 PM | #8 | ||||
Odi et Amo
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IP: DDFB 95DD
Score so far: Gong Show: 0 votes Revelation: 4 votes
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... Last edited by Drama Queen : 06-12-05 at 03:52 AM. |
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06-11-05, 03:29 PM | #9 | ||||
Middle Weight
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IP: D92C 0475
This wasnt bad..both had good verses and had some nice lines. Heres a bit of a breakdown..
Gong- You came pretty good. You opened alright and had a really good set of vocabulary. You def took the vocab category without a doubt. Your verse had a few flaws though. Some of your lines didnt really follow the topic that well. I remember walking, on a trivial boardwalk of condescension Contemplating my comprehension…of first impressions Now, I understand where you were trying to get at with following the topic here but it didnt work that well. You should have changed the content to make people feel the emotion better and the line would have came off good. Revelation- You came really nice in this. I was feeling your emotion throughout your entire piece and your words helped that shit out alot. Good shit and your lines were good. You also had a few good pieces of imagery in there. I think I liked your opener the best though.. Dusty streets and windy corners darkness covers land, While dogs bark, and children cry, dice are shot by man. I was really feeling the emotion here, good shit. ------------------------- Overall Rev took this because Gong had some bad wording in some places. Both came good though, stay up. Vote- Revelation
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..Sonned.. Snow, Prezidict, Dizzee Rascal
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06-11-05, 03:51 PM | #10 | ||||
Light Weight
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IP: 0825 899A
Damn man, sorry Gong...I'mma have to go wit Rev on this one. Gong ya shit was mad nice. U used multi's good vocab and had great imagery...but so did Rev. So the deciding factor was the creativity. Rev, u out did ya self wit this one...excellent spin off the topic. (Keep droppin though Gong...ya shit was mad nice)
Vote The Revelation |
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06-11-05, 06:33 PM | #11 | ||||
GG Haterz
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IP: EEE6 2792
Good battle, Gong.
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Quote:
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me ^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly. |
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06-13-05, 06:35 AM | #12 | ||||
Odi et Amo
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IP: 439B E775
Closed, The Revelation wins
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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