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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
06-23-05, 07:34 AM
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#1
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WhoAreYou?
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The Longest 2 Hours....
IP: A181 D033
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=196377 Yo i'm sittin tappin a beat into the desk in front of me, It's a sunny day, this is the last place that i want to be, Cooped up in this fuckin boiling hot exam room, Feelin clustraphobic, it's as if there ain't no daymn room, Now it's hot n stuffy sweatin like a fat bastard, 2 whole hours of this shit, i don't know how i lasted, Daymn man, my fingertips be stickin to the table, Now i be unable to move, i feel disabled, I look up and i feel my head sticking to my neck, Now i'm lookin real retarded, so i'm gettin vexed, All i see is younger years outside the hall jammin, Conditions in here feelin like self contained famine, For example my water straight gone, i wanna cuss, Cos it evaporated and my crisps have turned to dust, Literally dust, i ain't talkin bout no crumbs, Shit turned grey now my belly's feeling numb, The prick behind me keeps hittin my chair with his foot, So after i break his nose, i think i'm gonna spark a zoot, Yeh why not, this can be my hard earned reward, Anticipation has made the time stop, once again i'm bored, Hmm i wonder if they'll notice if i try and go, I raise my hand to go toilet, but they clock me n say "no!" Damn it looks like i'm fresh outta schemes n plans, Wait time's gone backwards, now i cease to understand, It was quarter to 4, now its 20 past 2, Now i gotta find another way to make a move, But my mind be blank and i can't think of a thing Hol up i heard the bell for end of school ring, Keepin us for this long without a break, that can't be right, Its like they wanna let me out this shit at midnight, Or somethin, cos this time be dragging on forever, And the air be hazy due to all the humid weather, I don't think i can't make it through this, thing's are lookin bleak, ONLY AN HOURS PAST BUT IT FEELS LIKE A WEEK..................... |
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06-23-05, 08:08 AM
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#2
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WhoAreYou?
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IP: A181 D033
uppin dis shit..................
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06-23-05, 11:34 AM
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#3
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Light Weight
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IP: 59A2 9AA1
Soundin good man, school is the devil, rite on! 9/10, good use of vocab n imagery. peace.
__________________
 Sig Provided by: Christianite 3 nails + 1 cross = 4given No matter how good you are there's always someone better. I'm not the status quo stereotype you want me to be. |
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06-23-05, 11:49 AM
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#4
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Odi et Amo
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IP: 1AD2 C386
Lolz, original concept, that's least I can say about this. Feelin the drop, emotion was okay, showed us your thoughts and feelings but imagery was best I think. How you worded the entire situation and how you felt, nicely worded into different stages, good development. Vocab's good as well as flow and structure, nice drop
__________________
Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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06-23-05, 07:28 PM
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#5
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WhoAreYou?
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IP: A181 D033
yo thanx uppin this one...........
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06-24-05, 12:31 AM
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#6
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Witness, 4 God, 4-Ever
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IP: BFBB C391
i liked this, told the truth, my school was pretty much the same way, lol, nice drop
__________________
 i come from a time when you earned respect, for your rhyme and the way you made words connect, not the money that you made or the girls you sexed, a concept you obviously haven't heard of yet Mars Ill
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