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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
07-03-05, 12:15 PM
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#1
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The Martyr
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If I Was Time...
IP: F519 0F67
If I was time I'd be in digital format, Wiping my feet at the moons doormat... I would've extended 3 minutes in the earth's rotation Before that... If I was time... I'd be the hour You spend standing in line To ride the Medusa at 6 Flags One more time... If I was time, You'd never have enough of me, And you'd always try to be ahead of me... I'd change my name to Rolex And tick steadily... Constantly... Infinitely... I'd set you back an hour of your life Once every year, And make you lose sleep as well... If I was time, Would you be able to tell Even in light or dark spells If I was a sundial In Alaska? Or would you just let me run Right past you? If I was time... |
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07-03-05, 08:12 PM
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#2
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New to RV
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IP: A199 2284
Good piece, enjoyed your vocab and use of words...you played well into the metaphor...flow was on point and you established it in the first few lines 9/10
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"It's the knowledge of the youth untold Our roots ungrown, so when the truth unfolds You will realize and know it's me I told you my story through the eyes of poetry I ran for the light, darkness soon banned from my life And I'd be damned for the strife but I'm as deep as my words...so I AM what I write" - Prolific |
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07-20-05, 05:15 PM
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#3
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The Martyr
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IP: F519 0F67
Bumpin this thing for some feed ill rtf for whoever leaves me feed thanks
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07-22-05, 12:32 AM
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#4
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Light Weight
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IP: 23D5 2B69
ay good drop man...u played this very well...nice use of wording also...pce
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