Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
07-19-05, 12:33 PM | #1 | |||||
|
~Floating Words~
IP: 07A8 D079
“…Lean not towards your own understanding.” -Proverbs 3:5 Intro It’s not coincidental that sight and sound tend to match in basic symmetry The same sounds that make our ears tingle can open our eyes wide vividly The senses help guide in the straight path splitting those that are abnormal We feel things from the tips of our fingers and hear sounds of paranormal Floating Words You won’t meet her directly ’cause you won’t look for her like phone calls from friends out far, nor green lights for cars.. not even speech for the jaws they say she don’t exist, it’s a belief you seen it because of those with faith not the things you see and hear everyday from ringing bells, babies or trains.. but the disabled r able to wait and depend on her, to follow the hands to obey only at the end will you read this the right way, mute words she will convey she communicates disregarding class and culture, thoughts boiling into tests like the lips of Judas revealed Christ, weak judgment blossoms the blessed & to know someone so sensational can be aware with ears overtly immature she’s lured by lifelines in palms of this sincere companion, it’s quite secure... ...submitting her pure comprehension of verbs, subjects, n subordinate clauses common people only imitate, replace the translation using periods for pauses but we fall into complex traps, willing to convert back to her we attempting to fly we pivot back to what’s known, being ignorant we go on and on like clocks time our hands switch position like gestures, for one to understand we’ll exaggerate it Every word is in the eye of the beholder, writing insults her…Ms. Sign Language ---The conflict in this topical is how people can Write and produce floating words (concrete)... vs. how people can use symbols to produce symmetrical floating words (abstract).---
I wrote this as a topical battle for today, but I would like regular feed in this forum... Because this is my favorite piece I have written, by far. Thanx much...
__________________
|
|||||
07-19-05, 12:59 PM | #2 | |||||
|
IP: 07A8 D079
__________________
|
|||||
07-19-05, 01:48 PM | #3 | ||||||||
+...Femin-iLL...+
|
IP: 6E69 7B24
Yur So Kewl..This Was Very Well Written..Yur Opening Statement Was Good..Cuz I've Never Really Thought About Sight and Sound Matching...I Loved The Way Yu Described Sign Language...Yu Are Very Good With Imagery...
Quote:
loved this part of it...last line was sick...and Realli put the icing on the cake in this piece..... I've really onli seen in good detail Yur battling skillls....So its nyce to see that u can write too,.....This was a good Piece....Some Of The Better In Depth I've Read In Here Keep Ya Pen Going
__________________
..:: Artik In The Phlesh::.. .Re-Writing The Re-Run. |
||||||||
07-19-05, 01:55 PM | #4 | |||||
|
IP: 07A8 D079
thanx i appreciate the feed...
__________________
|
|||||
07-19-05, 07:12 PM | #5 | |||||
|
IP: 07A8 D079
upping............................................ .........................................
__________________
|
|||||
07-19-05, 10:36 PM | #7 | ||||
Witness, 4 God, 4-Ever
|
IP: C365 5D99
liked this, good topic, took a while to figure out what the meaning behind it was, but after i read the bottom i got it, flow was good, vocab was pretty good also, emotion was good too, keep it up
__________________
i come from a time when you earned respect, for your rhyme and the way you made words connect, not the money that you made or the girls you sexed, a concept you obviously haven't heard of yet Mars Ill
|
||||
07-19-05, 11:02 PM | #8 | |||||
|
IP: 07A8 D079
the hidden message =
"only at the end will you read this the right way, mute words she will convey" that's one of the most important lines of this, it shows to prove how many people can read something but look over it, like it's unimportant.. but with sign language you have to focus on every single thing. thanx for the feed on my works. i really appreciate it.
__________________
Last edited by ~Lady Fiya~ : 07-29-05 at 03:47 PM. |
|||||
07-19-05, 11:43 PM | #9 | ||||
~Real Rookie Of The Year~
|
IP: DA5F FA75
Damn girl this shit was deep as hell it made me think and I don't usually think alot it made me realize on how I don't usually concentrate on what people are telling this was hot keep doing what you do you truely are The Princess of The CHI!
|
||||
07-20-05, 01:28 AM | #10 | ||||
|
IP: 0AE0 3B1A
Damn ma this was a tight peice.. i was really feeling it ..vocab and wordplay were on point..nice very well educated words... good emotions and nice feeling going into your drop.. see that it took alot of time to make..Structure was good.. you had a good hidden message..and i was really feeling this peice.. nice job fiya..keep it up
__________________
The Competition
|
||||
07-20-05, 11:09 AM | #11 | |||||
|
IP: 07A8 D079
thanx...
uppin''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '' hee hee
__________________
|
|||||
07-20-05, 08:56 PM | #12 | |||||
The Paragraph President
|
IP: 2372 BC06
damn gurl i really like this, good stucture nice flow, but something you could use work on is emotion use that more then just once and awhile its really important to have. having it may or may not make the flow better but most times it gives more interest but the imagery is very good and the vocabulary is veyr good as well, overall i'm feelin this your a good writier fiya, keep that shit up i love readin ya shit. listening to ya shit is good as well.
rtf in my new om Confessions links in the sig.. 1
__________________
|
|||||
07-29-05, 02:46 PM | #13 | ||||||
GeNeRaL
|
IP: B376 58AD
Quote:
This is why shes one of the best in the RV.......Nuff Said |
||||||
07-29-05, 02:51 PM | #14 | |||||
|
IP: 07A8 D079
why thanx but i don't get much credit in topicals... I appreciate that much.. thanx Narc for peeping this..
__________________
|
|||||
07-29-05, 03:56 PM | #15 | |||||
|
IP: 07A8 D079
yup yup uppin..
__________________
|
|||||
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|