RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases > Poetic Scriptures
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 07-20-05, 01:12 PM   #1
chip
pain is weakness leaving the body
 
chip's Avatar
 
Posts: 754
Joined: Jul 2005
From: 614 (Ohio)
Status: Offline
Who?

IP: 4673 04CC

who was there to take care of me when life treated me shitty
who was the first to see the bull but still would love and forgive me
you was the one to only hold out a helpin' hand when i grabbed it
called me a prick, dick, and faggot, slammed my head into cabinets
kick me out the house and tell 5-0 that i ran away
beatin' the shit out me when you're mad (like everyday)
cuz of the bruises couldn't work, now u mad at me
that i put in work went thru my shirts and found a bag of weed
who was there when my mother died
who was the one to console when me and my brothers cried
u was supposed to be there but no one had my back
my only friends in life i met thru cookin' crack
now your "little" boy is out makin' runs totin' heavy guns
because the hate u give lil' infants fucks everyone
who was it that gave me their time when i thought i was thru
why should u care, all u need to know is it wasn't u.

- a note to my father, Chip
__________________


"I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..."
-Konchance

my poetry:
untitled
Send a message via AIM to chip   Reply With Quote
Old 07-20-05, 01:13 PM   #2
chip
pain is weakness leaving the body
 
chip's Avatar
 
Posts: 754
Joined: Jul 2005
From: 614 (Ohio)
Status: Offline
IP: 4673 04CC

please share your thoughts
__________________


"I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..."
-Konchance

my poetry:
untitled
Send a message via AIM to chip   Reply With Quote
Old 07-30-05, 02:35 PM   #3
chip
pain is weakness leaving the body
 
chip's Avatar
 
Posts: 754
Joined: Jul 2005
From: 614 (Ohio)
Status: Offline
IP: 4673 04CC

i would love some feedback. uppin'
__________________


"I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..."
-Konchance

my poetry:
untitled
Send a message via AIM to chip   Reply With Quote
Old 07-31-05, 05:20 PM   #4
chip
pain is weakness leaving the body
 
chip's Avatar
 
Posts: 754
Joined: Jul 2005
From: 614 (Ohio)
Status: Offline
IP: 4673 04CC

need feedback. uppin'
__________________


"I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..."
-Konchance

my poetry:
untitled
Send a message via AIM to chip   Reply With Quote
Old 08-01-05, 12:41 PM   #5
chip
pain is weakness leaving the body
 
chip's Avatar
 
Posts: 754
Joined: Jul 2005
From: 614 (Ohio)
Status: Offline
IP: 4673 04CC

__________________


"I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..."
-Konchance

my poetry:
untitled
Send a message via AIM to chip   Reply With Quote
Old 08-17-05, 11:14 AM   #6
chip
pain is weakness leaving the body
 
chip's Avatar
 
Posts: 754
Joined: Jul 2005
From: 614 (Ohio)
Status: Offline
IP: F38C 26F8

still need feedback uppin' (again)

link:http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=200501
__________________


"I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..."
-Konchance

my poetry:
untitled
Send a message via AIM to chip   Reply With Quote
Old 08-18-05, 04:47 PM   #7
In-Vision
Out-Spoken
 
In-Vision's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,011
Joined: Apr 2004
From: memphis
Status: Offline
Text Record: 22-1
IP: EA53 D1FB

this was extremely dope..good build up, very good ending. I knew a twist was coming, i wasn't sure what it what it would be though. The emotion in this piece was definately felt, and I can relate with this a lot...I love it..i look forward to seeing more of your work...much respect.
__________________
Seek & Destroy
We have fun in my basement
Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate.


"watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox


The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew
Send a message via AIM to In-Vision Send a message via MSN to In-Vision Send a message via Yahoo to In-Vision   Reply With Quote
Old 08-19-05, 03:16 PM   #8
chip
pain is weakness leaving the body
 
chip's Avatar
 
Posts: 754
Joined: Jul 2005
From: 614 (Ohio)
Status: Offline
IP: F38C 26F8

__________________


"I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..."
-Konchance

my poetry:
untitled
Send a message via AIM to chip   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:09 PM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.