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10-17-05, 02:47 PM | #1 | |||
1926
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"Wish Upon A Star"
IP: 28AD 5545
Wish upon that Star...
Turn your Aspirations into Vulnerability. Weave those Hope's into this Starlit Night, As Shadowy Figures Steal a Piece Of Life. Your dream is no longer yours, Weep Willow... let us see your pain. Let us see the mighty Wither, from your Joy we now know your disdain. Kiss your Privacy Good-bye, your Soul is Ours... watch your everything Along Wings Of Judgment. Run this Trail of Star Dust, Wish to have it Back. Along a balcony drips an Hourglass short of a Minute. Your Wish but a Novelty... Tickle our minds, please, Entertain the Heavens. The Gods enjoys your impotence. Laugh as you chase a Nightmare, yet call it Dream. Among the sky living the Heckling Masses. Chained to the Stage by Mortal Restraints, the Monkeys dance for some form of Treat to Grasp. Opened yourself for seconds, and now your Secret's the Worlds'. Know that the Night laughs at your Dreams, as the stars Giggle in the Vibrance of Plurals. |
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10-17-05, 05:50 PM | #2 | |||||
A Life Of Chryme
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IP: 28AD 5545
You told me this was corny,
I beg to differ fo real, this was some real power full shit you had excellent imagery as always..doesnt surprise me..i like the whole story line and message u tried to send.... your emotion was more than exceptable..it wowed me....pretty dope man..overall ill give you a 7/10 keep it up
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A LIFE OF CHRYME |
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10-17-05, 06:49 PM | #3 | |||||
The Paragraph President
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IP: 1F19 D2B9
I like this, A real poetry thang man. Your flow and emotion is real good, nice and on track. Your imagery really had a tore on me, It grabbed me inside and somin wierd that I felt about this that made me like it but I can't explain what that was, but overall I'd say you really comin along as a veteran poet on rv, I can't wait to see you on rb.
anyway good poem man props and all. 1
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10-19-05, 01:50 PM | #4 | |||||||
Middle Weight
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IP: 11AF 50EC
once again ANOTHA dope piece
ya imagery was on point, vocab n flow were also on point........ur really progressin on dis shit n im luvin it....luv to read some more of ur shit so keep 'em coming.....1 |
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