Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
10-18-05, 10:05 PM | #1 | |||||
New to RV
|
-Buried Touch-
IP: 3C00 FBBA
Men Cant Live Dead, Sworn Alive By Maggots, Its All In Ya Head No Grieving Instead, Everybody Jus Dies, Let Da Burials Begin... face ya fears why run, shots blast at your brain and leave ya senses numb happy alive go have fun, but u 'donated prostitution' so He's takin ur lungs watch a body shrivel like crumbs, as it "fades away"....like jordan and pun lives weighin a ton, but when that time comes, we 'light'headed and dumb shake it off mariah u young, dont mean u wont see God sooner than some dont gotta be lead or 2 from a gun, life itself could "neck" us til we "hung"! upside down in our graves sufferin none, with no feelin, no meanin in cry no tears in each eye, no family weepin screamin "he's dead" by your side but even while dead....as we lie, in darkness covered by comfort inside.... we cant deny, that bein buried 'fake' will 'touch' us more than living a lie!! Men Cant Live Dead, Sworn Alive By Maggots, Its All In Ya Head No Grieving Instead, Everybody Jus Dies, Let Da Burials Begin... question yourself about pride, everyone has it whether they rich or broke 'hand me memories' jus 'forget da stroke', we make it seem like lifes a joke but as soon as someone dies we quote, words in which dey said or wrote or words they often spoke, tryna 'enlighten' da much less "educated" folk walk around impressin yaself only, get abandoned by makin yaself lonely and even though u lonely, u wont surpass tha truth...if you being phoney then niggas try to become real, expressin themselves thru lines they feel gave their life a will, in it for money, & God avenges every crumb u steal! next time ya homies deceased and u sittin at home sad, and crying still... imagine yourself in his tomb...'buried frozen'...lyin shut, embracin da chill Men Cant Live Dead, Sworn Alive By Maggots, Its All In Ya Head No Grieving Instead, Everybody Jus Dies, Let Da Burials Begin... http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2495052 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=211985
__________________
I'm ARSEN.....Hate It! |
|||||
10-19-05, 08:03 PM | #2 | |||||
New to RV
|
IP: 987A 31E7
well damn, i must reaaaaaaally suck or yall jus not interested?
__________________
I'm ARSEN.....Hate It! |
|||||
10-20-05, 12:45 AM | #3 | |||||
Guilty Of Chryme
|
IP: 3240 794D
You don't suck..
but, I didn't like the stretched lines, you had some nice plays in this. some similes stood out. I wasn't really feeling your 2nd verse tho, thought the first one was much better. Just keep writing, and work on ya bar length.. stay up homie RTF if you wanna keep getting feed/votes from me- http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=211864 |
|||||
10-20-05, 09:12 AM | #4 | ||||
Within Eternity's Wither
|
IP: 0825 899A
its decent........like Illist said stretched in places but still was a decent piece
RTF Links In Sig
__________________
crhyme sindicate
Open Mic Hall Of Famer |
||||
10-20-05, 11:55 AM | #5 | |||||
New to RV
|
IP: DBB6 2D7A
chea i got both a yall when i get home, still uppin tho
__________________
I'm ARSEN.....Hate It! |
|||||
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|