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02-12-06, 02:41 PM | #1 | |||
New to RV
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An Over-Due Book.
IP: 2029 97B3
An Over-Due Book Sunday 8:12 A.M. Woken Up, Dog Liking My Face, Hair Standing From My Neck To My Shins I Hear My Alarm Clock Beeping From Hours Ago, “Oh My God I Slept In!!!” Rushing Around The House, Screaming With Horror, “I Cant Find My Shoe!!!” I Need A Miracle, I Cant Even Drive, And In 12 Minutes The Books Will Be Due 8:19 A.M. Its Getting Frantic, This Bad Day Was Leaving Me Visions, Leaving My Memory Scary ~Flash-Back~ I Was In 1st Grade, I Was Hiding In The Shade, With My Hand On A Sharp Weapon Swinging For My Life, A Sharp Knife, My Brother Said Its There Fault For Stepping -Reality- I’m Running Towards A Dead End, I Think I Remember A Short Cut, To The Library Shooing Down The Street, Feeling Nauseous, My Mom Was Right I Needed To Eat But This Wasn’t The Time, I’ve Been Saving Up, So This Hunger I Was Going To Defeat 8:27 At The Check-In Counter, Preppy Chick There, Just To Think She Had A Hyundai All This Work Finally Pays Off, I Give Her The Books She Says, “Finally You’re Not Late, Good Job,” I Say “What?” She Says “The Books Are Due Monday” 8:30 Why Would I Do This?……How Could I Not Pay Attention I Should Of Remembered I Called And Got An Extension Walks Out Of Library . . . BOOM!!! . . . Ends Misery http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...78&page=3&pp=15 Last edited by Ion W. Yuu : 02-12-06 at 05:14 PM. |
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02-12-06, 04:55 PM | #2 | ||||
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IP: 31C2 62EB
Drop two links or this will be closed
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The Competition
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02-12-06, 05:07 PM | #3 | |||
New to RV
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IP: 2029 97B3
Oopsy Daisy. 1 Minute.
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02-12-06, 05:19 PM | #4 | |||
New to RV
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IP: 2029 97B3
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02-12-06, 07:10 PM | #5 | |||||||
New to RV
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IP: 68E9 5207
Pretty good concept, the flow was there... had some good heres and theres with the multies, good emotion... pretty good piece overall fam. Liked this.
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i've Been RiPPin VetZ 4'r 4 yrz .. Don't B NeXt! EsCaPed CaNNiBaLisM EmCeE..since 02' |
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02-12-06, 09:49 PM | #6 | |||
Poet's Daughter.
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IP: 56B1 4C65
Ok short drop. I wasn't feeling it, you should've add more details and this would've been good along with your imaginary skillz, plus your concept wasn't that much appealing, next time be more creative. The flow was cool, the content was cool, i would advise you took work on creativity, imaginary a lil bit and emotions, this was good but needs improvement...chio.
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mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* |
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