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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
04-13-06, 01:13 PM
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#1
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New to RV
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Soldiers Eyes
IP: CF86 0039
Mines are all on the grown and missiles are flying
Men with gun wounds bleeding and others are dying There are rounds of bullets all over the ground Gun shots fired so many sounds all around There is face to face combat and the war just begun At this point there’s no telling who had won **************************************** Im a man in this war just trying my best to survive Ive watch men everywhere die and lose there live All I have is me myself and god right by my side Wit my gun in my right hand while I try to hide What am I gonna do just a few men left in my army But there all spread out and very far from me Bang Bang.....a gun shot was fired a couple feet away And then I saw my buddy in the dirt where he would stay I walked over to tryin lift him up on to his weak feet But then he told me im the only 1 to decide if we’ll b beat His breath then started fading and I stood there in tears And then walk out to the field wit all kinds of fear **************************************** While I walked I felt like I was walkin to death .................................................. ...so i took my gun I looked at my men then looked str8 and started to run While running I saw sand blow over my dead soldiers Then I was starting to feel the wind get a little colder While running I had tripped over a mine and lost my boot Damn if this mine blows imma loss more than my foot To Be Continued.... |
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04-13-06, 01:32 PM
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#2
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New to RV
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IP: CF86 0039
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04-18-06, 07:13 PM
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#3
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New to RV
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IP: CF86 0039
no replys p-ple?
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04-19-06, 01:55 AM
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#4
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New to RV
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IP: 9FB1 BA4E
Nice imagery in the peike...the to be kontinued iz kool...
stanza for stanza..your Best stanza wud prally B the klosing...It leaves you with antikipation and it al5o ha5 the Best imagery in my opinion...i dont kno mukh about mines or war but i thought minez werr put under the dirt so dat u step on em acKidentally and shit...so how u lose a Boot and u kan't see da mine? But yeah da5 my only sugge5tion overall...dekent drop..nothin spekial wif good imagery..7/10? u passed haha.. hollaatchagerrl -Truth-
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04-19-06, 06:31 PM
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#5
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New to RV
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IP: CF86 0039
my old man used to say when he was in vietnam, that some mines were duds and in this case u dont know if its gonna blow, thought it might leave ppl wanting more.
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05-12-06, 01:37 AM
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#6
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oh yea?
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IP: C031 D8C3
cool shit man
some real shit in there, had some good worded lines and an aight flow. not bad at all. keep dropping homie "Im a man in this war just trying my best to survive Ive watch men everywhere die and lose there live All I have is me myself and god right by my side Wit my gun in my right hand while I try to hide What am I gonna do just a few men left in my army But there all spread out and very far from me Bang Bang.....a gun shot was fired a couple feet away And then I saw my buddy in the dirt where he would stay I walked over to tryin lift him up on to his weak feet But then he told me im the only 1 to decide if we’ll b beat His breath then started fading and I stood there in tears And then walk out to the field wit all kinds of fear" ^felt those most 
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AIM = David Lama says
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