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Old 08-17-07, 06:17 AM   #1
Git Dollaz
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IP: 7909 D203

im sorry for the hurt girl, im sorry for the pain
im sorry for breakin yuh heart, so sorry im insane
im sorry i deceived u, believe me im sayin
i need you, im sorry for me bein so evil
im sorry now the way i feel its got me killed,inside
n im sorry for the tears-u-cry
im so sorry wish the tears-would-dry
now it seems ive appeared-to-die
you not here thats a fear-of-mine
one of a kind now i fear-we've-died
witout u here by my side
like bonny n clyde,but how do i survive?
i need u to revive me, so i can stay alive
den she looked into my eyes,n said goodbye
n i do know why, but i dont know how
i eva let her slip by,all i know is that ill try
try to get it back, im tired of livin a lie
its time to tell the facts
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Old 08-17-07, 06:50 PM   #2
KM
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IP: 9204 9119

im liken the concept but this still could be worked on...dont seem like u finished it....u could make it more interesting by adding some complex vocab or makin it sound more poetic....and could be longer but....guess this is what u were feelin at the time or!..... u were just gettin somethin done quick........~1~ 6/10
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