Ai yo
Ima jus' spit a verse or somin

Fuckin round could get u boxed//
with a mic i spit like im in a tux//
A gentleman aint gat no time for haters//
though they got time for me//
Everybody gotta talk see//
Thats how it be//
The game aint gonna be easy//
That was the prophecy//
all i think about know is how i'ma make a gee//
so ure wastin ure tim tryin ta piss on me//
we should put our heads together combine the energy//
if u can kick it how bout u kick up a melody//
and if it's shit i'll be the fuckin remedy//
sweet as water yo aint no-one harmin T//
if you gonna front Dick, i'm stilla killa disease//
like MJ in fullmoon, puttin thriller on freeze//
i could go on forever on how u soft as the breeze//
while i b solid as a rock c'mon nigga please//
we both know a punk mc can get better//
all he gotta do is put work down to the letter//
develop a stlye man do it with a smile while//
searchin for dollers, who's the next number to dial//
i'll save it for know cos u done got a mile pile//
of my rhymes, hell, yall probably gonna need a file//
Till next time i drop it this here's how i rock it//
Jumpin,Shakin,Quakin, Breakin yo anticipation//
But ure happy know right, yeah ure past ure danger//
be good kid heres a little straw for ya manger//

Well dats me done your thoughts would be much appreciated.
peace out T_pound

yo was up man, yo kid this seemed like freestyle to me, probably was, and for a freestyle, or keystyle... it wasn't that bad... shit was pretty simple though, and the flow was a bit off, but u seem new to this... you'll get better... just keep working on it man, thas all

Peace

YER T_POUND THAT SHITS PHAT MAN LIKE IT,FUKK THA GUY ABOVE ME! WOT DUS 'E KNO!

HAHA.........

BLITZ 3.6<----MEMBA THAT!

yo cheers blitz but i dont mind critisiing thats how get better dawg learn from yo mistake
Peace T_pound

Yeah it was freestyle

this was aight..nothin special but you got potential dunny...try to create a rhyme scheme for your rhymes and shit...bars coulda been longer too...keep elevating...one

yo t were u talking to me about my post beging a freestyle im confused

man,dis wuz too choppy,u need to xtend ya verses.Ya verses seem like they jus had words on tha end to rhyme.U can come harder than dat,jus work on it.I aint criticizin, jus tryna help u out hea buddy.Stay ^
-Avi

Nah i was saying wot i wrote was freestyle