anyone that ever been homeless will understand this and feel it more then those kids who drive their brand new benz!!

Im walkin down this empty street on the roam//
Thinken bout the deciete that made me lose my home//
Now im ready to fall asleep in these woods all alone//
Staring into the campfire like a lifeless drone//
I want to get stoned, juss to forget that im a bum//
Why the fuck did i have to be so FUCKIN DUMB//
ahhh I couldnt take that shit no more//
I had to leave, so i walked right out the fuckin door//
Man i was only 14 years old//
Maybe i should have juss done what i was told.
NO i dont listen to anyone u say its silver, i say gold//
But was it worth sleepin in the woods under news papers//
worried everynight about wakin up to murders or rapist//
man i gotta exscape this, but im to deep in a dark mist//
Where is my shining light to surpass this//
Will I ever live in a house again//
or will i go night to night, sleepin in woods or at friends//
My story wont have a happy end//

this shit was juss a freestyle so it wasnt my best work but good for a freestyle (i think) lemme know

That was good for a freestyle. i dont think that the lines
ahhh I couldnt take that shit no more//
I had to leave, so i walked right out the fuckin door// work
if you take the comma out, it will work cos the comma slows down the flow. The top line is too short to be able to add a comma. It has a good meanin though. i felt it.

Fiori

im not one to say whats good or bad, but that shit was tight , yo i can relate, i wasnt homeless but i live in a shity ass place w/ my mom my girl, my son, my gun, and this laptop, shit im only 14

this was nice, almost didnt seem like it was off the dome, the only part i didnt like was

"Why the fuck did i have to be so FUCKIN DUMB//
ahhh I couldnt take that shit no more//
I had to leave, so i walked right out the fuckin door//"

i it wasnt as good as the rest of it and the "fuckin" just seemed to be in there at random, i dont like random cusswords but if thats your style do it and keep elevating.

BTW thanks for the replys to mine.