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Old 04-05-03, 04:09 PM   #1
pcrook
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the real

IP: C69F 43E8

this world is curropted
we gotta learn
nothing comes free
everything u gotta earn
like when u ask sumbody
fo a lil bit a money
and they start laughing
cuz they thinkin its funny
but then yah get mad
forget they stupid azz
but in the back of yah mind
yah kno that yah wrong
yah push everybody away
cuz yah wanna be alone
u need pay attenetion
and theres stuff you gon learn
what might seem right nah
lata consequences gon burn
he sellin drugz
tha shit fuked up his personality and his soul
he thinkin he runnin the streets
he thinkin that he cold
he hit a lick gotaway wit once
he starting to get big eyes he starting to front
he startin to get greedy his jealousy startin to show
this boy actin like a broad this boy acting like a hoe
his boys got tired of em
so they kicked out the crew
he was scared to go bacc to his ol ways
so he commited suicide
he jumped off a roof

grady(R.I.P)
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Old 04-05-03, 04:29 PM   #2
pcrook
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tell me what yall think
if itz fuked up lemme kno so i can work on it
i aint embarassed yah feel me say what yah say do what yah do holla
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Old 04-05-03, 05:10 PM   #3
MicDareall
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see kid.....u to....shit comes out betta when u try to be real......try to throw some metaphores or similies in here and there .....they help to express shit visually if u give someone somethin to picture.....makes shit more felt
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Old 04-05-03, 05:13 PM   #4
MicDareall
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oh yeah and go to the wackness emergency center....and read up to learn bout other aspects of writin....peace
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Old 04-05-03, 11:23 PM   #5
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you have to make your lines longer you only have like 4 words in each line, its hard to keep the flow, it almost doesnt flow through the whole song, but just keep writing you'll gett better at expressing your self in lyric form if you keep doing it and getting better.
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Old 04-07-03, 05:11 PM   #6
pcrook
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coo i feel yah
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