this is my first verse for this song. its pretty self explanitory. its about me growin up. it goes to the "i got a story to tell" beat by biggie. if you read, plz reply. gracias...



i went from this house to that house
almost as fast as my dad went from this spouse to that spouse
i had to choose this route or that route
my moms or my dad? but i knew if i left her then my moms would be sad
so i picked her...we took pictures man i miss her
we had a pad on the ghetto side of chula vista
a youngin outside just playin with my friends
i didn't have that much, we were savin up the ends
it was me, my mom, her boyfriend and a new little brother
everyday i hugged her so she knew i loved her
but her man? damn, i thought he was a good guy
come to find out he was the one that should die
thinkin that it would fly, saw him kiss my mom on the cheek
but behind my back my mom was gettin beat
soon after that me and my moms was on the street
walkin to vons just to get somethin to eat
then we moved to scripps ranch, home of the rich man
but we still scrubs we wasn't rich man
we was stayin with grandma, she was strict i was like damn mom
i got in trouble for playin handball...

damn the beginging sounds like some for eal father son issues.. well. It was an alright peice. OoNnEe

shit will pretty 'ill,
"i went from this house to that house
almost as fast as my dad went from this spouse to that spouse"

was tight!

thanks so far, wouldn't mind more

it's aight could do with better wordplay an try to make it more complex, But hey thats jus' my opinion
Keep Spitin Dawg

damn dogg that was nice it sounded like a real biggy song or sumthin it was tight

nice drop...i like the vocab... ilike the first 2 lines too...tight shit man, hit me up wit some replies on mine

this is my first reply in this forum... but I liked it, even though people have said that it could have better vocab I think that the simplicity of the words worked well with it because it was more of you "tellin ya story" and when you're talkin to some one tellin them ya story you don't use big overbearing words... on a level it made it more real. The rhyming was nice, I've never heard the song and within the first few bars I could pick up a beat and follow it easily, like I said I don't know much about this forum and what's concidered "good" but I do listen to music and I could see myself enjoying something like this. I thought it was very well put together, flowed nicely and depicted the story well

dude that shit was off da hook. i actually felt sorry 4 u
fuck those who say u need word play. this drop tells a story

thanks you guys. and yea, i didn't really use alot of wordplay in this one cause i thought it didn't really bring the rawness of the situation so yea...uppin

This Was Nice u was telling a story, u didn't need a big vocab on this topic, it flowed pretty nice in my head, i enjoyed this alot
keep droppin em like these

u got great story tellin talent, like everyone else said
dont worry bout wordplay or vocab cuz it really doesnt
matter on story raps, i did lose the flow a couple of times
but that coulda been just me, i would really like to hear the hook
to this cuz it could be real tight

oh shit...i didn't even think bout a hook. lol, i'm not quite sure if i'ma put one in on this one but we'll see

lol yeah u should get a hook that would be nice