Im not goin to lie I aint from the hood// Im from a town a country were if you shouted U.V.F you'd start a fuckin flud//Ive only seen one guy get shot by his own kind//He join something and he couldnt get back out, now hes under ground and not making a sound//I wish it could all end and there would be peace and not have to get always chased by the police// i live with my parents and my dick off a brother// I cant say im rich and I cant say im poor// At least I know theres carpet on my floor// And a roof on my head// Without eminem I probably be dead// He helped me through the hard times and the good//Thought about commiting suicide but didnt have a clue// If only my best friend new that what i said wasnt true// I told her that I was happy but how can that be// If im not classified as a good rap femcee//I have to locate my style, my voice , my rymmes// i cant help dropping a shit line , its not my fault// I tryed to rap like i was the queen but Im back here again// I want the fame if I didnt it be lame /it fills me up with pain// Now I got to go and hang my head in shame

seperate your bars.
dont write a paragraph
with slashes like that.
its boring. put
some kind of meaning
in your stuff. please.

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Nicely done am feelin the contend but....like sand said u could have done it way better by separating yo bars feel me

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kk thanks for your tip...im new to this shit and im just use to writing it down on paper

im a put on eup that I wrote a while back it probably dont mak e since to u's but it does to me be cause its the way we talk her e

Keep Elevating...All I Can Really Say.

Put A Straight Topic Or Good Meaning Behind Your Piece, This Was Kinda Boring.

Atleast You're Being YOU A Lil Bit More...And Not Eminem.

Don't Seek To Just Eminem For A Style, Look Into Other Artists Like ::

Underground Recommendations
Talib Kweli
Mos Def
Common
Pharoah Monche
Jedi Mind Tricks - definite recommendation, they my boys.
Big L - all his work was fresh

Commercial/Mainstream Recommendations
NAS - good recommendation
Jay-Z - recommend his older work from 'reasonable doubt' cd.
Diplomats (Cam'ron, Juelz Santana, Jim Jones, Freeky Zeeky) - if you're going for a street spund.
Big Pun - if you're looking for some sick multi's talent


just some recommendations if you'd like....

yo
have you ever imitated your favourite rapper through a mirror and learned thier lyrics too?
Well there aint nuffin too be ashamed off cos ive been there and done it too. What am I saying i stll fucking do.
We all have dreams and hopes for the future. Ive wanted to be a rapper for longer than I can remember. Never had any info on managers or record labels, i knew there was a slight chance I could make it.
I needed to learn how to spell so of coarse i had to go to school. Fuck I thought I was the coolest MC, every thursday last two we'd have PE.
I love pe so I'll choose it for my GcSe. Thats my other option if I dont make it on TV I could further my career in Pe.
I want to teach anything to those kids If its from protecting them from the streets or learning them the beats.
Nobody knows how hard it is to go on stage. They give you a mic to do what you like. as long as I get my words out i think I'll be doin alright.
Cos we all have dreams and picnic scenes but it seems to me I cant make my scene. I dont know what i sound like or look like to you but i swear evey thing I say Its all fucking true.I aint the type to wear dressy clothers or jewellery.
Im mean when I say fuck the queen it just what the fuck has she ever done for me?
I was born to be a rapper not a fucking singer. Nope im not form pop Idol . This rap games no fairytale weather your male or female. you got to work from the bottom to get to tha top....



what u think?

i gotta give it to yah ,... people have been dissin yah and i think you got potential .. because you aint givin up what ever the haters say ... much respect to you .. peace.

not feelin' it at all.. first line and second and third didn't flow at all... bar seperation may have helped but I doubt it.. you really gotta work on your vocab.. I noticed in a couple of your pieces that you use the same word over and over throughout.. that really fucks it up, find similes for the words or just use a totally different concept.. sorry for the negativity, but hey it's gotta come from somewhere or you'll think your hype when you're not.. and get your hopes up.. trust me, you have potential, just doesn't seem you've found your niche yet.. keep elevatin' 1

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I put it down..without sound from undaground/just to make your eardrums pound.
I've found that you can express mad wordz using just one verb or maybe jus a synonym, just try not to sound a whole lot like your favorite eminem/
kinda try and seperate so that all the others will neva hate/or debate the things that you say/
look to the future..there will come a day/when you find out that there is more than writing/ using a paper and pen/tell your freinds about the things that you like/
america might wanna put a spike into the drink/
just think..that maybe there is another way to get where you wanna be and go/write flows that come from deep inside/
listen to what I say..to eva try and hide
It all takes time.

dats a lil betta, i liked da fact u were honest bout where u liv and shit, now keep bein u, not eminem, and i all i gotz 2 say is step it up, yea u rapped 4m da heart, but dat dont prove u got skillz, now show us dat u got skilz, much live... peace

ps stop takin bout em. in all ur songs, i aint read one of ur drops were u aint been sayin his name

Yo the flow was watery. Nothing to jump off,
Like i say, if its no good, use it one a freestyle session...