She's Sorry

No rubber will please us, that was the thesis, that left one woman wondering where her bleed-was..//
and that same woman panicking on the bathroom floor, 6 weeks later palming a fetus..//
keepin it discreet-was the plan, we'll be rid of the baby before she meets-us..//
but baby defeats-us, born on a cheap-bus, cryin tears of a bitter-sweet-fuss..//
A grateful light was quickly blackened, child born into a hateful life..//
Its all her fault, shes sorry her parents werent more careful that fateful night..//

Shes ten years old, and ten years cold, so much that her breath's seen in the air..//
a routine scare from neglecting parents, so when she screams theres no one there..//
Cuz no one cares..and no one dares to calm her shivers when she shakes..//
quivers and quakes..after hearing each day of her life was all mistakes..//
She's sorry, She knows its her fault theres no money to pay the bills..//
tho no one ever comes home with paychecks, only syringes, vials n pills..//

She's 18 now, and never once did she let the shadows on her wall catch her..//
But the chase wasnt complete until they took her mom out on the stretcher..//
She heard the men in overcoats talking of the fatal addiction doses..//
and when the door slammed shut, she was left alone with four eviction notices..//
She's sorry, she knows she deserves every pain in this life god gave her..//
shes all alone and nearly homeless, she knows now only the streets can save her..//

Moans from a man she drowned out, she only thought of loans for a plan..//
bones for a hand, of crisp 20's..was the transaction that owned once began..//
A shameful living, that stripped her of her honor as much as it did her clothes..//
but amidst the weeds she found a rose, a man who cared, or so he shows..//
They lived together, she thought she loved him, but really he was all she had..//
he kept her out the streets, so she did whatever she could to keep him glad..//
but he was always shady and never treated her like a lady..//
his liquor came first, even when placed in the lineup of her and their unborn baby..//
She's sorry he got her pregnant, on that night of drunken passion..//
she's sorry the chips of her fertility were to much for him to cash-in..//
she's sorry he hit her all night, face so covered in tears they barried it..//
but most of all shes sorry for her baby..........she miscarried it..//

She stared a strong gaze as the nurses tried to console and tap into her..//
But the only thing she could think was 19 years ago, that should have happened to her..//
She wandered back to the house where she used to watch her mom shoot up at the table..//
she almost wasnt able, to keep on, all the flashbacks made her so unstable..//
Through a faded door, she entered a bedroom and in the dresser raided the drawer..//
she hated before, it made her a whore, she didnt want it anymore..//
she hated now, she hated herself for letting her baby slip thru her grasp..//
she's sorry, she shed a tear, one last, and then she let the gun blast..//