been told from birth, never to raise a fist
for what it's worth, buildings weren't fallin' like this
when a knife stabs you it's supposed to get duller
and blood and a rose are all the same color
suddenly the lines have all been blurred
here comes a violent society that was waiting to get stirred
right now i'm man enough to admit that i'm scared
bombs are droppin and it's everything that i feared
i can't sleep with all this shit i have to contemplate
as we contaminate the plate from which those kids just ate
the rich are getting richer and weak are getting weaker
propaganda spilling from every tv and stereo speaker
this worlds turned me hard as a rock like bob segar
the scraps with which i have to eat are getting meager
some kid killed another right there on my front lawn
turns out it was his brother, they'd been fightin since dawn
a homeless dude told me he hadn't eaten in five days
i guess i should feel guilty if i accually get my raise
the worlds turning bad and they keep sayin it's just a phase
but i can't help feelin' there is no exit to this maze
yesterday is gone and today looks like it might be worse
if everyday is a blessing why does it feel like a curse
every night i can't help but break down and cry
all that they taught me was a one big fuckin lie
there ain't no truth and the world iz still flat
enjoy your youth, because it's shit after that



i know it was a pretty simple rhyme sceme, but what'd y'all think.

uppin it -- someone say somethin'

been told from birth, never to raise a fist
for what it's worth, buildings weren't fallin' like this
when a knife stabs you it's supposed to get duller
and blood and a rose are all the same color


Good to see someone from RI spittin, Elevate...good simple rhyme...kinda like my style...feelin it

thanks dude - can i get some words from some other people too.

damn, this was a sick verse. The content is what made it that way, and if it had some multis and such, it would've been a perfect 10.

best lines:
when a knife stabs you it's supposed to get duller
and blood and a rose are all the same color

the rich are getting richer and weak are getting weaker
propaganda spilling from every tv and stereo speaker

nice title too, it's cool to have a title that doesn't make sense until the end.
Peace

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

This was tight dawg ,,,,,,,,,, tha Tittle went wit tha Verse............Ur concept was madd Ill.......overall u get a 7/10

thanks y'all can i get some more opinions. i like the critizism i'm gettin' it will help me up my game that much more.

i was feelin this...

the rose/blood line was dope...

keep droppin..

peace
-1-

Understatment said it-
damn, this was a sick verse. The content is what made it that way, and if it had some multis and such, it would've been a perfect 10.
he was right, multies and a more complex rhyme scheme and that piece right there woulda been as ill as it gets,
next piece step up tha word play and multies and little tougher rhyme scheme but keep that content how u get er

this was hott, please return the favor and check out my piece "the world is yourz pt.2"

__________________
Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?!

tight work, i wasnt feelin it at the begining(first couple lines) but then it started to pick up and then when i understood what u where gettin at i reread it and saw it was all on point. some deep ish man. and dont worry bout having a simple rhyme scheme. i mean i agree wit caspah somewhat, but complexity is not always the way to go. take a close look at some lyrics by famous rappers...most of them barely use 4 syllable words... so in my opinion if you tryin to get a major point across and hit hard wit it simplicity may be the way to go, because if its to complex you might get carried away with just rhyming and multies and lose sight of your original point, nah mean?

__________________
I tried to rewind time but my hindsight is blind

thanks yall i apreciate to - and skidlezz i'll check yours out right now.