as a child grow'n up I was deprived of love,
parents who didn't care, shuned they only son.//
maybe that's what made my dad run,//
sometimes I wonder if I even had one//
fuck it, if I met him, I'd shake his hand.//
then take a stab in the dark, laugh and slice more marks.//
cut him to little pieces and claim it as art.//
remarks have been made since day 1.//
people say'n "that child's got something wrong".//
no shit, look at my mom, she raised me this way.//
her version of praise was a bottle-a wine and lasuratin' my mental with rage.//
say'n shit like I'm-a never ammount to shit.//
I'm just like "him", damn, I guess the apple don't fall far from the tree.//
but fuck that, I'm-a never leave my baby, or my girl.//
they my whole world, between cold work, an' my rhyme book.//
but back on track, is it any suprise I turned to crime, look.//
my mind was racin' thru states of hate an' depression.//
facin' regression from bein' withdraw'n from the world.//
songs from pac my only release from my central hurt.//
learned from the streets, family didn't teach me shit.//
earned allowance from weed since grade 3, it makes me sick when I remaniss.//
I was just a kid, fell into the wrong crowd.//
but at the time it seemed right, they seemed proud.//
more than I could say for my relatives,
when I was around it seemed they just screamed a'loud.//
how could I flourish or relish in these sub-conditions.//
shuned an' hitten, beaten to bruises for repeatin' words I heard from listnin'.//
I dipped by age 12, I was like "fuck this" I'm- out.//
to this day I still ain't know if they noticed or gave a shout.//
affraid an' surrounded by strange sounds, I prayed a'loud.//
"god I need help, a release, please.. please"...
my prayers went un-noticed it seemed, day's past, lookin' like there's no hope for me.//
just a yung blunt stuck on the street, goin' on 13.. no luck.//
laid up on a cold cott from the dumpster, no shelter 'cept this cardboard box.//
I was about to give up, when I met this guy, a gangsta type.//
Nigel, he took me in, taught me tha trade, fed me an' paved my way.//
education thru the day, at night I strived to change my brain state.//
learned to skay weight an' cook on tha hot plate.//
hold an' cock a gauge, an' eventually I was sent out choppin' yay.//
made tha stacks I have now, connecs I have now, respect I have now.//
try'n bring me down now..

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