when i first saw you, i could never imagine that lasting impact youd have, i never wanted love....all i wanted was to get ass
when i met you that slowly started to change,
i suddenly started to feel confused and strange
but you have a man and you were determined to stay with him,
at first i fronted...but soon realized i couldnt hold what i felt within

on that Christmas Eve when you two broke up i was confused,
i was happy that he was gone, but sad that you had to lose
try to fight my feelings cause you were "just a bitch",
im not gonna sit here crying at night for some chick
still trying to fight what i could not beat,
i finally gave in...my heart was with you...but yours wasnt with me
i finally got the nerve to ask you out on that spring day,
you said "im not over him"..i contiplated suicide and began to pray
it was the first time ive ever been rejected,
with any other girl i wouldve dropped it and said "whos next?"
this one was deep inside me...her metal hands clasping my heart,
she knew it....it seemed like God considered my pain an art
got the balls to ask again...rejected a second time,
now ive had it....she doesnt want to be with me thats fine
ive loved her for a year now and have to see her everyday,
ive had enough..now its time for God to pay
FUCK YOU GOD...ive had enough of your bible...im through,
turned my back on religion to hide and deny its' truth
then from out of nowhere i hear that your feelings have changed,
is Monica telling me the truth?or is this more pain?
you confronted me on Christmas night..telling me its the truth,
went to the park and made love..im so ignorant in my youth
im 16..she knockin on 19's door..i lied about my age,
i keep it inside...not knowing the price i would have to pay
i got a new job...couldnt give her the attention you deserved,
her ex moved in...saying that "he couldnt live without her"
so she was playing me..my emotions were true,
you were fucking him while i was at work wondering about you
i came to surpirse you on Valentines Day and take you out to eat,
"im going to see my cousin"..she had cancer...a horrible disease
ok..i was dissapointed but whatever ill go out with my boys,
the next day your boss tells me "She was out fucking Montoya" (her ex)
i was shocked....fuck this lieing bitch shes good for nothing,
dont call me...im not gonna answer the phone..all i can see is her and him fucking

the pain slowly dies even though i see you from time to time,
i pictured us both together...for the rest of our lives
then my brother tells me that he hit you......
fuck no...i took a bat to his truck and if my boys werent there to hold me back i wouldve pounded him too....
the bitch hits you and runs when i come around,
i wish i could get him one on one and go pound for pound
i call you today..June 12th..to say "happy birthday..keep your eyes on God despite what youve been through",
but what i really want to say is.."i still love you"

aint that a bitch.....

sorry its so long i got carried away there....it turned into more of a story but whatever...