RSTA Verse, Topic: Sent To Heaven



Ever since a child, i'd always Pictured this Moment
Innocent angels holding, those Golden gates open.
Fates chosen its path, its time i began my assention,
up the Stairway To Heaven, to meet He of Creation.
Mind racing, heart pacing to the beat of a bass drum
I tread the first step. Unstable, i fall and taste blood.
Looking up, i see the light. Floating on cloud nine. .
Dirty angels litter the landscape lifted from my mind.
Those angels hang grey halo's, tattered robes worn
I realise these are the fallen, rebelled against the lord.
Those who sworn their faith, yet remained unfaithful
instead of casting them to hell, he kept them, its more painfull.
Unable to move, i began to panic, now frozen in fear
the staircase below me crumbled, & then disappeared.
Striken w/ fear, i was dropped helplessly into a void
Must of blacked out, awoken by a thunderous voice:
"Finally, Its Time" roared the crimson disfigured tyrant
Yellow eyed w/ blue flames hidden beneath his eyelids.
"Welcome my child, its time you revealed your true form"
Pointing index finger toward me, my face sprouted horns
As i stared at my skin, scales formed, eyes turned blue
a tail grew, nails twisted, adapted to the heat in the room
I didnt know what was happening, heart beated harder
"Finally the time has come, for you to continue the work of your father. ."


The Devils Spawn.

thats some deep shit, i like ur work, keep it up

ballin

^One Line Replies Get You Banned, Son. .

this is a lil similar to donte allegheri's paradisio.almost a quick abreviation and fast generalization of his context.no accusation made.
poetic prose was a great structure to write this in and your vocab exsentuated each line and point.
also the ending was a phenominol twist like an acention from paradisio to inferno the body context is the purgatory-.
this is symbolic of divine comedy at its best very well composed indeed.much respect

Flow
Flowin like liquid on this piece...
Wordplay
Well structured wordplay and nice topic too,Good looks..
Vocab
Vocab is nice too, Some deep and tight rhymes homie...

P.S. Thats a bad reason to ban someone.....

^ I know its a bad reason, but he didnt just do it in my piece, ive read about 9 pieces where he's done it, and The End isnt against that, he wouldnt be banned forever, just for a month or something.

Thanks for the feedback. .

Stop freeposting and reply, now.

yo i got much respect fo ya shit cam.
Dis wuz deep.
Really nice flow.
Nice vocab too.
If u can i would turn dat shit into an audio....see wut it turns out like......props

Looking up, i see the light. Floating on cloud nine. .
Dirty angels litter the landscape lifted from my mind.
Those angels hang grey halo's, tattered robes worn
I realise these are the fallen, rebelled against the lord.
Those who sworn their faith, yet remained unfaithful
instead of casting them to hell, he kept them, its more painfull

Very hot piece right here...had beautiful flow...prob the best piece ive seen this month, kept me readin..short and to the point

10/10

^ Cheers my man. .

i like. i agree with BMack cause my fav. part about it was was how you described the angels. it gave nice imagery to make it seem more real. also liked the "i fall and taste blood" line. cause that just set up the downfall.

__________________
""Accustomed to trample on the rights of others, you have lost the genius of your own independence and become the fit subjects of the first cunning tyrant who rises among you." --Abraham Lincoln, speech, September 11, 1858

^ Ok, How Many Out Of 10?

7.1, above average. no one will ever get a 10 from me.

__________________
""Accustomed to trample on the rights of others, you have lost the genius of your own independence and become the fit subjects of the first cunning tyrant who rises among you." --Abraham Lincoln, speech, September 11, 1858

lol, ok. .