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Old 07-27-03, 09:34 PM   #1
Slik
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No Show

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Baby, You Think That Love Is Just A Foolish Game//
This Is Far From The Normal, Its Bout To Drive You Insane//


---Here We Go---

I Turn My Back For One Second And I Cant Even Think Of Trust//
Tell Me Right Now, Do We Really Have Love? Or Is This Lust?//
You Tell Me That Im Everything You Ever Wanted Or Wished For//
Damn, I Say Something, And Now You Steppin All Over Me Like I Was a Floor//

----Whats Love Anyways?----
Beats Off Now...

I felt Love From Your Heart To Mine, Now Youre Saying that you need time, I can give you that girl, But Im not waiting in Line//

Can I really trust you, Can I really Be wit you? Can I Really Believe that all This is true? Can I Be Real Wit You Or am I gonna Have to Walk Past you//


----I really Thought We Had It-----

So Many Words Spoken, So Many Poems Written, So Many Dreams Made//
I knew When I First Met You, That My Whole Life Was Going to Be saved//
I Layed In Your Arms And You Said That you Would Never Let me Go//
But Now you aint here for me, Im Just goin to refer to you as my mutha fuckin NO SHOW//




Whatever.....Im done

Last edited by Slik : 07-27-03 at 10:04 PM.
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Old 07-27-03, 09:47 PM   #2
{UneeK}
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nice drop, im feelin dis


Quote:
So Many Words Spoken, So Many Poems Written, So Many Dreams Made//
I knew When I First Met You, That My Whole Life Was Going to Be saved//


thats the line i felt most bruv, n e ways check my shit out
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=68884
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Old 07-27-03, 10:03 PM   #3
Slik
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thanks for the reply.........i'll looka t yours.........

Uppin
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Old 07-27-03, 10:44 PM   #4
Passivist
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this was an aight piece got the whole concept but.................arent you a girl????? anyway return the favor on my piece

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=68471
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Old 07-28-03, 05:57 AM   #5
inspire
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lol@No Show...

Heres The Breakdown...
You Tell Me That Im Everything You Ever Wanted Or Wished For//
Damn, I Say Something, And Now You Steppin All Over Me Like I Was a Floor//

^That Was MAAAD Stretched... Work On Even Bars...

Also Get Rid Of The AA/BB Scheme... Try And Make It Something Like...
...A...A
...A...B
...B...B
Just Something More Complex And To Keep Flow At A High Point...

This Was Short... Should Write More To Express More Feelings And To Create More Of A Cresendo Effect Of Your Song...

Vocab - 7/10
Enjoyment - 7/10
Flow - 7/10
Topic - 6/10
Overall - 7/10

Work On It...

-Thanks For The Reply As Well
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Old 07-28-03, 01:04 PM   #6
Slik
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first of all........I was jut writin what i felt....like 2 min worth...lol.....i usually do the aa ab bb thing. butyeah. thats just how it went this time. this is what i was feelin. And i am a girl.....who gives a flyin fuck......im out
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Old 07-28-03, 02:16 PM   #7
Whyte Ave.
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this coulda been a real nice drop if it was longer...
For a short drop it was nice, got the idea/concept through to me

Flow: Flowed nicely, nothin I had to try and keep re-reading...8.5/10

Concept: Stayed with it, was good too...8/10

Wordplay/Vocab: Not much really here, nice a simple, which is also good...nice vocab though...7/10

Overall: 8/10, nice drop

Can ya check mine out...its called "Mistakes"
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