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![]() IP: 16F2 8A6E
First Nothing,
This Is My Story, Now I've Got This, The Road To Glory... Deep and dark as the wind destroys the park ~ Tree's ripped apart relvealing thier wounded heart ~ two steps forward and one step back all the time ~ Stuck on one line this is hard to make a rhyme ~ Imagining the day i'm on stage and i shine ~ right now i'm at a desk puttin a crook in my spine ~ Frustration builds up as i rip the pages up ~ Sit with my head in my hands tears fill up ~ running down my nose and fill my coffee cup ~ I wonder why I cant think when i have pen in hand ~ I put my brain to work get up behind the mic stand ~ Swith the bitch on, throw on a beat and stand still ~ For a second theres nothing, then comes the kill ~ As i rip out lyrics i never ever thought i'd fill ~ First Nothing, This Is My Story, Now I've Got This, The Road To Glory... (x2) Standing on street corners as people gather round ~ Watching expecting me to crumble to the ground ~ I Aint the man i was before, i locked up that door ~ Now i'm here pure and raw, now to settle a score ~ All those cats who laughed when i couldn't rap ~ Will get ripped up when we have a lyrical scrap ~ The hoe's who turned me down an took the MC's ~ You aint worth shit coz i moved on like a breeze ~ OH LOOK, they have all started runnin straight back~ well they can run straight past coz i aint with that ~ the days of walkin head down and no one there ~ them days are gone coz now i have people stare ~ them cats who laugh wanna get down, like i care ~ HaHa,, tables turned look at the money i earned ~ I want you all to remember the day you got burned~ By a lyrical genious that got your stomach churned ~ Now i walk round head high and no clouded sky ~ bouncers to stand by, if some fuck trys a drive by ~ HAVE YOU GOT THAT? |
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Guest
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IP: A603 AFE0
Frustration builds up as i rip the pages up ~
Sit with my head in my hands tears fill up -these lines remind me of how i get when i'm on writers block..i love your imagery in this piece..although it seems basic....it comes off rather powerful..very good job on that effort. Your piece reminds me of a very ironic story..you think somethin is gonna happen..then it takes a completely total twist....and something else happens...very nice.. i liked this..just always keep working..and never give up God bless..1.. |
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IP: 84B7 08E9
A nicely constructed piece, bazzy.
You detailed your thoughts and emotions fairly well. And used the ryhme scene to fairly good effect. I liked the 'story' behind it too. How you rose to prove the doubters wrong. Cliche, yes. But still nice to read. ...resp... |
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IP: 16F2 8A6E
bazzy?
Thankz for the feed back ~1~ |
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IP: 84B7 08E9
Heh. Sorry, got you confused with someone else on here. It's the avater thing i guess...
...once again, nice piece... |
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IP: EDAF 43CC
Quote:
Thanx dawg....I appreciate that.... Anybody else wanna review my verse??? ![]() |
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