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Old 08-03-03, 04:31 AM   #1
Mast3rM!nd
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Unhappy Chelsea?!

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baby why ya gotta leave me all alone like this/
I fuck up but you can still be quite tha bitch/
whut tha fuck is this/
after all tha time an money I spent on shit/
you just leave me full of nothingness/
you cheated on me with justin/
whut a digusting bitch/
i thought we had sumthin/
well i guess not/
remember when there was a storm and I walked 7 miles just ta make sure you were ok/
you called at 10 an I got there at 12 o clock/
tha next day/
you treat me like shit then dump me/
did you get everything you wanted from me/
remember that braclet i gave you as a special gift/
last time I saw,it was on justins wrist/
but I guess you were right/
I don't want to fight/
i'll just apolagize despite tha way i feel inside/
close my mouth and swollow my pride/
even though your mean,I'll still hug you/
after all tha shit you put me through,I'll still love you/
well,I guess thats all I have ta say/
Oh wait One more thing/
FUCK YOU and HAVE A NICE DAY/
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Old 08-03-03, 04:46 AM   #2
Mast3rM!nd
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Hit this up ya'll
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Old 08-03-03, 03:14 PM   #3
Legendary
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I wasn't feeling this one so much. Some of the rhyming on it seemed forced...

"remember when there was a storm and I walked 7 miles just ta make sure you were ok/
you called at 10 an I got there at 12 o clock/
tha next day/"

Like that part right there. I did like the emotion you put into it though. I like how you're handling the situation too. Even with all that stuff she did to you, you still hug her. It takes a lot of control to do something like that.

What you wrote here wasn't bad. It's just, the way you wrote about it made it hard for me to feel it. I guess, as long as you felt better after writing it, who cares what I think right? Keep postin them up
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Old 08-09-03, 09:40 PM   #4
Mast3rM!nd
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Thanx a lot!
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Old 08-11-03, 03:01 AM   #5
DiverseSyndicate
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this was alrightbut i didnt feel it that much,and shitty idea to quote an ending from a battle verse from 8 mile,other than that,keep elevatin.~1~
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Old 08-12-03, 01:31 AM   #6
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#1 you scare me... but hey what do I know... I don't know about that last line from 8 mile thing because I know a lotta people who said that... well I did when I was 12. I agree with Leg about that forced rhyming thing, it did sound like that. But anyways I thought there was a lotta emotion in that peice. Keep elevatin, peace
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Old 08-12-03, 07:09 PM   #7
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Rigid, akward and slow. The meaning diluted by all that.

Nonetheless, at times i saw cracks of 'sunshine'. i.e. good writing.

But i dunno. If it was personal, then fair enough. But nah, it just wasn't written well enough to communicate to the reader quite as well as it could've been.

...resp....
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