I gave pause to the world and now they complain it's raining cats and dogs
Leaving bloodthirsty strategists with their backs to the red cross
The bet's lost, kiss it goodbye, lipsticky cash exchanges hands
An explorer with pens, formative trips to the last and greatest land
Surveyed the grave expanse of desert, started to rain dance
Two left feet in a cottonmouth, cobras remain entranced
Hypnotically swaying to the rhythm of words uttered under my breath
Soulful syllables playing limbo in nerf inertia, summoners wept
But all tear ducts were desiccated so the drought remained
I shouted names in vain until my voice was pain, cowards gained
A measure of courage in my futility, villainy arose
Laying siege to ramparts pillaging artilleries of prose
Bodies of work debilitated, will is faded sepia tones
Flood the coffers with syrup and please just leave me alone
Leukemia, paper cranes dangle, from antiseptic walls
The king of Narnia and other phantom lands is left to crawl
...Verbal acrobat, practice battle raps to keep the mind groomed
Fine tuned, volley with the volume in my room
And time soon consumes all and doom falls
Like the darkness of night over the city...harvest the light
Make shards of the mic... fragmented poetry
Leave scars when I write... ask and you know it's me
Supposedly brandishing my banished bane as bandage
Making love with the language, languish my anguish
I think, therefore I sink further into depression
Pushed over the brink by a fink's stirring impression
Of me at my very worst...but the words murder repression
So lack of fertile expression is sure to bring the regression
Full circle - see, once I held the world within my sweaty grasp
But I lost my grip and now the planet's spinning out of control
And my life is tugged along for the ride till I take hold
Of the voice ... the siren's song speaks to save my soul..
..Little league parents chant with blind rage, kids are taught discipline
The shortest fuse lit for you, take a straw sip it in
Liquid in half of it while the other share is gaseous
Postcards from the edge of phone callers beds in happinness
Abbey is sadly sick, violin crying songs of dread
Lying under oath's electric blanket tryin not to sweat
Fearing the toll, but curiosity's addictive
Why does he keep talkin to himself, it's probably a sickness
Busy building kingdoms with your callously discarded words
Fallacy and farce from galaxies afar where stars disperse
Bards converse under the shade of olive groves, knowledge grows
Walking down polished roads with squalid troves
But only Gollum knows how the author's conditioned
Shake the cobwebs, free glistening thoughts in gossamer prisons
Taught to enlist thought and factor chapters of images
Think tank caterpillar tracks leading back to the chrysalis
..The passion of a lifetime is trapped within my satisfaction
As I watch the hands go round and round and round and...
The last time the ink spiled from my quill onto the parchment
It stained her rose scarlet once it found the sound
Wed to the arpeggio, hobbled artisan apostle
Plucking feathers from the crown of Quetzecoatl
To lay before my angel as she floats across the chapel
To stand before the altar and bleed upon the gospel
My heart leaps from my chest like Asteroth swingin a battle axe
Once the music starts...madness in my eyes
Mesmerized by murderous intent, I'm furthering the pent..
..Up rage welling within my breast...until my services are spent
Worshipping the second hand following the first to bend
And twist around my words again...
The voice warping the clock into a whirlpool
Drowned in time till I emerge a Djinn immersed in Zen..

yo please read my repentence track and he's back.
after reading this the input you can offer would be crucial.
it seams like you have adopted a reminicent style to aesop or el-p in your text which is good and amplifes your style.
this was exquisitly composed in every maner and i would love to see more...most impressive

man that was some fancy poetic shit, i liked it, gave a unique insight into imagination. check some of my shit out - "graduating song" and "some rap text".
great stuff again, keep it up,
peace.

^ Ehhh at those responses. .

Not a bad piece Demik, to me it didnt feel like it had any perticular topic you wrote it too, you seemed to just drift and merge several different concepts into one giant piece! Imagery was dope at parts, great tongue-twister type rhyme scheme to hold up the flow with all the internals and multi's, very reminiscent of aesop in my opinion, that backpacker influence shines throughout this piece.
Your bar length and such kept skipping and switching up which threw the flow slightly as i read Example:the first ten lines are long, then w/ the eleventh, you shortened them up. Id tell you to work on that, but ive seen your other pieces and you already know that, overall not a bad piece, but ive seen better from you and you know this.

Not bad though, made for an ok read. Reply to mine if you get time. .

i fail to see what you meant camarac as far as the structure and drifting

^ I meant there is no set topic like 'Love' or 'hate' that he wrote too, he just merged several concepts into over verse and posted it.