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08-14-03, 04:24 PM | #1 | ||||||
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lets stay 2gether
IP: C6B9 1740
My daughter Hollie ur the love of my life/
4 us 2 be 2gether 4ever id make any sacrifice/ its been no surprise that ur mother wud try 2 prise/ u from me but ur uncaring mum cant realise/ I need you more than the breath I bereave/ I just fucking wish ur bitch mother would leave/ This earth since ur birth shes tried 2stop me/ Looking after and adoring you properly/ Shes gone through the courts and now legally/ I cant go near you because of a killing spree/ Shit ive served my time and along the line/ I acted aggressively but I did regularly decline/ The fact that I was guilty just 4 u hollie/ Atleast u have never stopped respecting me/ Capital punishment tried correcting me/ But they failed and now fate/ Is calling me after I had 2 terminate/ Ur interfering mother but 1st ive got 2 terminate/ U my beautiful daughter before the police arrive/ And stop me from fulfilling my plan I will strive/ 2 execute this plan just like u and me/ so here it goes goodbye hollie I will see u in harmony/ BOOm BOOM BoOm boom And now its my tern 2 sacrifice myself/ Im sorry god be ready because imabout 2 end my health |
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08-14-03, 10:35 PM | #2 | ||||||
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IP: 5E9C 638D
wait..what baby..thats all i gotta ask!?!?!? what baby
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08-15-03, 02:04 AM | #3 | |||||||
Atra Ludio or Hip-Hop?
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IP: 7815 FDC7
At first I thought this was one of those "feeling" peices. Y'know? "This is what I'm feeling, here it is". But then at the end it had one of those, for lack of a better term, "trubrownangel"ish twist endings. I didn't see it coming and it was the worst/saddest possible outcome.
What I really liked was that the whole peice was just so natural. It's just word after word and line after line exactly the way it should be. I don't know if you spent a long time crafting it percise, or just sat down and it flowed out, but it sure came out awe inspiring. ~Shalom~ |
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08-15-03, 06:31 AM | #4 | |||||||
Registered User
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IP: 8197 FA9C
this was a heartfelt piece
letting the heart speak and I felt it. Nice piece, filled with emotions. You kept the flow flowing and that's just the way it's gotta be. keep elevating 8/10 peace |
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08-17-03, 08:07 PM | #5 | ||||||
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IP: 73D8 AACD
not bad....
It was heartfelt, but I seen the ending coming to soon.... Not that thats a bad thing....I didn't think you were going to take this approach when i started reading but good piece all the same |
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11-02-03, 06:20 AM | #6 | ||||||
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IP: 6A7C 7158
up
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