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Old 09-07-03, 06:48 PM   #1
Mental God
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Nothing unimportant!

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I let out a breath, and it forms a white cloud-
im standin all by myself, so i just think outloud\
I think of all the times that i've fucked up in my life-
how i let down my parent, kids, and mostly my wife\
Now theres nowhere to hide, because im running from my mind-
i try looking for sanctuary, but theres nothing to find\
I try digging deeper, within the depths of my soul-
instead of finding buried treasure, i dig myself a deeper hole\
Soon enough im so deep, that im trapped inside-
nobody can even save me, ive been swallowed by pride\
And now i've been denied death untill the day that i die in my mind-
doomed for eternity trapped inside my own head and confined\
The only person who can help, is nobody that is living-
and the only way to help my self it to see that its myself im forgiving\
But you cant forgive somethin, it you cant come to terms-
you only dig deeper in your mind like earth worms\
They slowly eat away, making a million different tunnels-
and they slowlty pour new thoughts in your head, like they were using funnels\
Then finally one day you realize that there is nothing that can be done-
so then you also realize that you have always been like this, even since day 1\
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Old 09-07-03, 06:50 PM   #2
P . A .T
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ill shit.. the flow was good i loved dat
ending.. kept me thinkin had alot of good
thoughts.. nice job here kid..

return the love--------> feedback please

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=78438
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Old 09-07-03, 07:17 PM   #3
Mental God
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thx.... uppin for some more feedback i guess
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Old 09-07-03, 11:22 PM   #4
Mental God
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uppin...
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Old 09-08-03, 12:05 PM   #5
Mental God
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dont sleep herbs, i know you see it reply!
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Old 09-08-03, 12:17 PM   #6
WORD~PERFECT
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YO THIS WAS EXQUISIT YOUR FORM OF COMPOSING TROJECT YOUR WORD CONTEXT ALOT BETTER THEN MOST TIGHT PEACE GOOD FLOW AND GREAT SKILL TWIN
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Old 09-08-03, 01:11 PM   #7
Carmen
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It had a nice flow to it. Very poetic. *and now I've been denied death until the day that I die in my mind* That was deep.
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Old 09-08-03, 05:20 PM   #8
Mental God
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^^^thx.. lookin for some constructive feedback still people
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Old 09-08-03, 10:59 PM   #9
Mental God
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^^^thx.. lookin for some constructive feedback still people ^^^thx.. lookin for some constructive feedback still people
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Old 09-09-03, 06:17 PM   #10
Mental God
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dont sleep herbs, i know you see it reply!
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Old 09-09-03, 06:20 PM   #11
/:Ayura:\
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tight, cudda had more vocab but other then that, this is more poetry, defenatly feelin dis
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Old 09-09-03, 06:20 PM   #12
Juicy_J
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nice
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Old 09-09-03, 06:25 PM   #13
Mental God
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^^wtf..... thats a fuckin freepost dawg... ur gonna get banned if you keep that shit up
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