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09-11-03, 01:52 PM | #1 | |||||||
BANNED: Cheater
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One-Sided
IP: 34BF DD77
Condescending, parent intending to chuck you out
Many times I’ve heard it, bores me wouldn’t’ inflict Same old arguments, threatening, nearly physical bouts Always doubts, no gumption on to directly insist Only silence, days on end only speaking when it’s needed Finding reasons to be righteous, with emphasis Only complaining for feedback to feed it Can’t believe, how it concedes it, knowing she’s wrong Creates more friction, knowing in right 10 fold compared to normal, abnormally strong Uptight, full blown with fury vocal fight Alter ego personality modern Jeckle And Hyde Jeckle’s hidden away, lost in the suppression Must be alien, moulded parent from outside What age is it when you become so depressin? When your kids adolescent or are you born with resentment Don’t give a fuck, ignore, my unwritten law Much worse for her allows me contempment Gives me a break sound proof invisible door Unlike before I would add fuel to the fire Blaze her anger, damping my flames Meaning 1-luv to her like stollen attire Like new years tradition, first foot she attains |
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09-11-03, 11:00 PM | #2 | |||||||
Spectator
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IP: 1A70 9542
What age is it when you become so depressin?
When your kids adolescent or are you born with resentment ^Really liked those lines. The message was a little blurred to me here, I feel the anger and you are descriptive in the opening when describing the continuous ill feeling and arguments. My first thought was this is anger directed at your mother, but as I read on I wasnt so sure. The ending was a little abrupt, seems unfinished a little.
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Great spirits often encounter violent opposition from mediocre minds.
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09-12-03, 08:42 AM | #3 | ||||
Yes I Know
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IP: 9B91 D0C6
uppin for ma dawg
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09-12-03, 11:58 AM | #4 | |||||||
Just call me your Savior
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IP: F718 7AAD
COM, y tha fuck did u take my icon, and....mutate it into some ugly lookin thing???
oh, tha poem was nice, i liked, good wordplay, good flow...
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<marquee>?</marquee> |
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09-12-03, 12:01 PM | #5 | ||||
Yes I Know
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IP: 9B91 D0C6
REMIX made the avy for me, blame him
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09-13-03, 01:20 AM | #6 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: 19EE F2A1
I understood what you were saying but the message was a little lost on me. I have much respect for the 1,2,1,2 rhyme scheme because i can never pull it off.
paece
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We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams. |
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09-14-03, 08:47 AM | #7 | ||||
Yes I Know
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IP: 9B91 D0C6
uppin
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09-14-03, 01:48 PM | #8 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 9C6E FBD5
hmmm sometimes emotional pieces lose their potency because our feelings block our talent..........don't fret.............this was a good piece i think the message just needs to be fine tuned just a bit.............it really wouldn't hurt to revamp this maybe add a little more thought to it.............but leaving it the way it is wouldn't be bad either poetry just like hip hop isn't about how or sometimes even what you say but how it makes you feel to say it...........1
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09-15-03, 06:03 PM | #9 | |||||||
BANNED: Cheater
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IP: 9B91 D0C6
thx, it ISNT finished yet as some have guessed....
uppin |
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09-16-03, 05:30 AM | #10 | ||||
Banned: Compromised Account
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IP: 399E F0FD
you had a very nicely displayed usage of wordz in this piece...poetry has never really been my thing but this was dope...
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09-16-03, 06:21 AM | #11 | |||||||
BANNED: Cheater
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IP: 6F9E F23B
COM, like the sig
Don't N.D.eva to good/N.Deva to be bad/never beleive wot people say/cos drugs dont make you mad PEACE |
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09-24-03, 06:38 AM | #12 | |||||||
BANNED: Cheater
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IP: 6F9E F23B
TOWARDS THE END THE MESSAGE STAYS THE SAME, TALKIN BOUT EVEN WHEN YA MOTHER KNOWS SHES WRONG SHE STILL INSISTS SHES RIGHT MAKING YOU EVEN MORE PISSED.........................AIGHT HOLLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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