The thing we all call life is really what people do with their time
As we grow older we recline until the point where living declined
Our mission to bind precision into decisions so we are in control
Life must be a test cuz we're only awarded if we're into evolve
Key facts, dissolved to speeden on how to resolve any situation
Does creaters hate us this much, cuz we bare so many implication
I've now got frustration...

So mnay things to accomplish i'll prolly end up impoverish...

...

A great man said your unconcius mind would prolly eat us alive
Now too times...we just multiple makin sure there not deprived
On how to survive, well we do but not in this viscious life now
Who are we to bow to so called leaders and raise an eyebrow
Have to plough through all this hating and complicating critiscism
Are own cells are prisons but we can all shine cuz we're prisms
Purposes are incriptin till soon our bodys are just mechanism
Maybe we are? we could just be machines... thats minimalism
Its interestin...our lifes are worth questionin investin in peace
Knoweledge now released it'll astonish when you next release
Your piece...

You'll get Envy

this was good, complex thinkin, i think you would like my spit, peep it out its "let loose"

but back to yours,

i felt it was more poetry then rhymin,

eg:

The thing we all call life is really what people do with their time
As we grow older we recline until the point where living declined

this was good, the syallables were similair in number so it should flow, but the recline word slows it down and so it did nt work so much here, but the content made it good,

good showing of knowledge here, especially the prisim line thats a killer:

Have to plough through all this hating and complicating critiscism
Are own cells are prisons but we can all shine cuz we're prisms
Purposes are incriptin till soon our bodys are just mechanism
Maybe we are? we could just be machines... thats minimalism


yo i liked this expression, rap should hav these knowledgable statements and opinions,

GOOD DROPPIN, keep it up, i wanna see some more,

PEEP MY SPIT AIGHT you should appreciate it....

PEACE

aight... you had some very nice lines in this... my fav was

Have to plough through all this hating and complicating critiscism
Are own cells are prisons but we can all shine cuz we're prisms

that was ill... you had a pretty good vocab and your flow was mos definately on... this was a deep concept and that helped out your spit...

all in all, this was a good drop... you got a really nice style,
your battle record doesnt suit you at all...

peep my shit if ya can.... its called COMMON SENSE 2

A.T.

that had really great concept...i liked a lot of he lines...vocab was tight...flow was good...all in all great 2 verses keep droppin man

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

thanx...

the play on at the end was for envy ny too drop...but this was just a key

o
N
e

Rhyming/Flow
YOur flow here was dope, You used multiple Rhymic internals here, they really were really useful not only in helping the flow but also they related to the piece:
"Our mission to bind precision into decisions so we are in control" - that was a good example there, of your ability to change from one rhymin' word to another in the space of a line!
......9/10

Vocab/Wordplay
You had a unique, exquisite vocab here, which you perfected in this piece. More specifically in the 2nd stanza. Lines like the following were totallyu og the hook, extravagent vocab and wordplay were your two dope qualitys in this piece:
"Are own cells are prisons but we can all shine cuz we're prisms
Purposes are incriptin till soon our bodys are just mechanism
Maybe we are? we could just be machines... thats minimalism" ...9/10

Concept/Topic
The topic of Life could be described as an oversued and overrated topic, but when you are able to convert it into your own unique style like you have then it becomes a completely original concept. 8/10

Overall
9/10, only bad thing i could comment on would be the length, it could have defiently been longer! but it was dope as fuck, like pieces like this dawg...tight.

Word!

thanx

hOlla