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Old 09-23-03, 05:08 PM   #1
deacon
I Am The Light
 
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_I coalesce-..........

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ne plus ultra
i look between......
two sides too full frontal it seemed.....
a serious life caught between verticle seams...
a mind, this life, a dream

Seperate lives and still we share the same name....
Rooted together forever deep within a picture frame......
Granted it seems i am the same being.
trapped, and unsure to a simple lifes meaning....

I breathe deep, and think?

This air is tasteless but still i digest it.....
Confusion compounding i compressed it...
i see more for me ... I coalesce....
A new Being....
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Old 09-23-03, 08:47 PM   #2
rule
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good piece. i liked the word play. and your first 2 stanzas the best good piece check myn if ya have tym lates
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Old 09-24-03, 09:19 PM   #3
deacon
I Am The Light
 
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thanks for check it out man..unfortunatly not many do..

--1--
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Old 09-24-03, 10:50 PM   #4
Da NFamous
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i was heavily feeling it was deep without your wording beng overplayed, was great but i thought saying it out loud that you would have repeated "A new being" i think it would have just capped it off but still a good piece, stay up and keep droppin really liked this shit, 1luv.
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Old 09-25-03, 12:20 AM   #5
The Necromancer
Atra Ludio or Hip-Hop?
 
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I use the word coalescence all the time. Or at least I try to. It's an awesome word. I'm just saying.

Anyway, great peace. It had a nice flow, and it was smooth. The concept went way over my head, but it was smooth.

~Shalom~
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Old 09-25-03, 12:25 AM   #6
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^right there with you about the concept but this flowed very smoothly and while i may not have understood your message i felt some latent emotion behind your words
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Old 09-25-03, 02:35 PM   #7
deacon
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Yeah i agree Necro that word is grand!!!! As for the concept i dont blame you for not understanding it too well i actually wrote it from the Rhetorical Insights picture...haha....Check the pic out you might understand it better....

point= Um its basically a man with two different sides to his life...I know everyone has personal traits that are hidden from most and seldumly are broadcast to the masses....This man is confused of what side he should base himself on..The last stanza pretty much clearifys the whole piece....He recognizes the air but can not see or taste it.....He realizes that this life is nothing at all and no matter who he is and what he does in the end he's not their.....He opens his mind fully and naturally becomes wiser....Hmmm interesting ay? yeah

-1-
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Old 09-25-03, 04:57 PM   #8
filed
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iight

right you are its very interesting! i dont think i would have caught hold of the concept if you hadnt explained it to us. and ive seen the pic you wrote it for, and me i didnt even try to come up with anything for that pic coz it just lost me, but yours makes so much sence, and shows great imagnery seeing as what the pic was.

i liked this lots it flowed nice, it sounded good, it was just all there

~Tera~
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Old 09-26-03, 03:51 PM   #9
deacon
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thanks alot...yo ^^ on your sig it should be__so good at sex i scream out my own name---works better haha

uppin for more lordy lord
-1-
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Old 09-28-03, 07:39 PM   #10
DaGyrlRemarqabL
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Ah, Deacon...Great piece here..
I especially like when you explain the poem youve written (like you did a couple of posts ^ up) so I can read it and then compare it to the interpretation I had in my head and say , "what the hell was I thinking?"..No jk..You get your message across well, with great choice of words, great poetic essence..Touching piece. I liked it. Stay up and keep blessin us.
Pz Deac.
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