heres my first post here, give feedback

better drop when my names talked, got the glock cocked ready for shots/
flow brought to ya block watch it cuz its hot as sun spots/
ya rhyme structure put together like jenga and im knockin it over/
frustration appearin cuz i ripped ya like a cardboard book cover/
battle against me the first feelin u get is defeat/
razor blades at ya ankles causin "de-feet"/
your sinkin like an anchor only faster/
like the fat kids at school, all u receive is laughter/
rhymes produced quicker then computer reflexes/
only way u escapin if u wearin fake hair and big-dresses/
my rhymes are like element compounds /
jus like diamond and gold king-crowns/
better give it up cuz there is no internet lost-n-found/
bitin rhymes causin u runnin like the fox-n-hound/
i shit on mcs and use ya notepad as toilet-paper/
cry about it, like child abuse i'll slap ya for spoiled-behavior/
bring your hottest shit cuz i extinguish hotness with tidal-waves/
i dont need knives n nines to murder u, my verse impacts in fatal-ways/

SON IM FEELING YOU HOLLA AT ME FOR A COLLAB WE ARE SIMILAR IN STYLE PEEP MINES...YO FOR REALS GET AT ME

For a Freestyle this was pretty good. You have some knowledge of wordplay and we seen some signs of it wanting to break out..

"ya rhyme structure put together like jenga and im knockin it over/"

You had some good meta's as well:
"your sinkin like an anchor only faster/ - flow brought to ya block watch it cuz its hot as sun spots"

Try toe xpand your vocab a bit, it was some what simple. but some you showed some potential in order to elavte on this. AS for the rhymin', the first bar was dope as fuck:

"better drop when my names talked, got the glock cocked ready for shots/
flow brought to ya block watch it cuz its hot as sun spots/" - seen 7 rhymin words there!

overall: 3/5, alright for a freestyle..but up your vocab and keep rhymin'

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Can you hit up Me and Thugz Piece called - [Radical Minds]

Thanx.

^ fo sho, thx for feedback dawg

more feedback?????

that was hot man, again the first bar was ill, a 7 word multi - damn...anyway thats so sikk for a first drop...obviouisly its not your first time rhyming...keep it up man

peace

holla at mine "Rookie"

aite man thx for tha feedback

that was hella ill for a post and a freestyle.....the multis were great, definitely feelin them, ur vocab and wordplay was pretty good, ur content and topic was pretty original.....u got mad ability homie, u gotta keep droppin, that was fuckin tight.

peace.......

tight freestyle....for a newb..you over the bar...keep it comen man...you gunn a be a good emcee with some more practise and help...peace

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

mane i like yo shit.you like me in many ways.but i liked alot.keep spittin dawg.cold.holla.holla


CTF(represent)

yeah fo show that was an ill drop for a freestyle dawg, i enjoyed readin it and i was feelin ur shit.. post more so i can read dat to

that shit rocked
it was a great read
keep posting more
i would loved it
it was a great freestyle
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