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Old 10-12-03, 10:56 AM   #1
filed
Sharp Perfection.
 
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why??

IP: 5949 B844

cant take this shit anymore
you keep ripping me apart
just as your last wounds healed
making my skin feel numb
making it hard to breath
making it hard to feel
you've ripped right down to the bone
tore out the heart that once loved you
even after you were thrown from your throne
the heart that wanted still to be your friend
but you couldnt quit
now i lay here crying
life born tears dropping
making new slits
each falling to the ground
one after another
faster and faster without sound
you said once that you wanted to be friends
that all the SHIT you said before
you washed out forgotten till the END
why the HELL did i belive you
why did i fall for your bullshit again
i should have KNOWN this was coming
it always does over and over again
you wanna look tough in front of the gang
the ones you tell LIES too
the ones you made want to have me HANG
for BULLSHIT you knew i never did
never cheated on your ASS, it never fuckin happened
you knew that was true
but you had to have a reason for me to blame
so you did what every BOY does, you lied
made ppl HATE me
made me want to DIE
for something i never did
got your kicks by putting me down
so hard it HURTS to frown
i know ive learned my lessons from you
that little BOYS running around
trying to be big rapstars
pretending that their name is kREM
are only out to hurt women
to give us all bad names
to make us want to KILL ourselvs
to make me want to DIE
just cause the kid has nothing fucking better to do
once i tryed to look past your lies
past all the SHIT you put out about me
the stuff you couldnt say while looking in my eyes
but forget that cock of SHIT
and FORGET YOU
ive taken the last of it
i dont ever want to talk to you
i dont give a damn if you really care
coz your a fuckin ASSHOLE
with no god damn HEART IN YOU!!!
so why do i still miss you.....

~Tera~
DONT HATE
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R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~
keep singing in heaven
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Old 10-12-03, 03:38 PM   #2
Da NFamous
Str8 From CopKilla Queens
 
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I really liked this piece, it was just a torrent of pain that began with a fierce and yet laid back spurt then gushed into a more tenacious flow of hate and as u climaxed toward the end and name dropped (kREM) you eventually got it all out and were left wondering...why, as we all often do, i really liked it once again, my favorite line was "U ripped right down to the bone...even after you were thrown from the throne" props, 1luv.
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Old 10-12-03, 07:58 PM   #3
rule
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good peice, a lot of detail an inner thoughts. you could really capture the movement and emotion. i liked it, very well eplained an flowed nicely. I fount little rhyme but your wordplay and creativity made it so you didnt need that rhyme detail...all in all...very good drop...9/10 keep it up....peace
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Old 10-17-03, 09:29 PM   #4
authenticity
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omg i love all ur stuff... that reminds me bout how i feel bout my ex kim...the one who tore my still beating heart from my chest and wore it as her crown...iut was so amazing...its like u took the words from my heart and put them into the words that i could not...girl i gotta give you mad props and tell u to keep writing cuz you have a gift for it... a ver good one
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Old 10-20-03, 09:18 AM   #5
The Necromancer
Atra Ludio or Hip-Hop?
 
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This my clearly non-rastifarian friend was a torrential storm of emotional words.

Seriously. You didn't have to add rhymes, you didn't have to add structure. That was all frosting on the proverbial cake. Just the hardcore, or should I say heartcore, emotions you put into this was enough. Too bad they were negative emotions. I hope someday, of course, you find yourself writing a peice with just as much emotion about something lovely and about someone deserving.

Personally, this just swayed me back to my position of how much I love women and hate men. (In other words, maybe, "Gee thanks, I'm heterosexual again!"?)

~Islam~
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Old 10-22-03, 03:50 PM   #6
snapped
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this was heartfelt, i feel like i can relate to this

most everything was said about this piece, you focused more on your feelings not the structure but it still worked well

nice job
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Old 12-19-03, 03:33 PM   #7
filed
Sharp Perfection.
 
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thanks ppl for the replies!!!

~tera~
__________________
R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~
keep singing in heaven
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