yo, check it

with dictators on the loose.......... like osama, and saddam,
people with powers, like george bush, is turnin into mad-man/

when we could all sit down, and end the drama in a week,
instead of havin nuclear weapons, leavin futures certainty bleak/

but blind men still have visions, an mens speak without voice,
and to these world leaders, we listen, like we have no choice/

what will it take, for the next world leader to loose his mind,
but these people live by the motto u gotta cruel to be kind'/

but the world it like a time bomb waitin for the next epidemic,
but we still live our lives, goin on striving to be academic/

blocking all the problems out, that the world is in struggle,
no other planets out there to help us out, god want nothin to do with trouble/

plz hit this up with some criticisms, i kno the topic a lil played, but it was in my mind


and


plz, plz vote on this battle, its my second one an no 1 voted on the first
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=85357

that was an ok drop homie......ur topic was ok.....and u know its kinda played so i wont comment to much on that......ur vocab and wordplay was ok....u need to elevate a little though.......overall not a bad post....could use some work.....but for the most part it was good......

peace......

aiight thanks for the feed back dude
uppin for more feed back

plz give a fair vote on the battle y'all
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=85357

very poetic and simple but complex in concept needs some work but not bad

but the world it like a time bomb waitin for the next epidemic,
but we still live our lives, goin on striving to be academic

best line cos it had most complex rhyme play, but the structure and flow was solid, could be tweaked

the vocab and content was aight, seems like you rely on the last word to be the biggest, and yeah the topics played...it was a good effort, but it just did nt spark if you get me