i grip the mic, known how i tried, i let it go in the air
i could give a fuckless, the meaning of life is explained thru the unfair
no care or worry for a young man like me livinin in a world based on misery
feel the pain and aches
commin from an abused history that dont seem real, but it aint fake
survival is at stake, i ante up the price
i get others involved, knowin that it could cost me thier lives
heartless inside, hopin my emotions exist somwhere deep
if you could walk in my memory, every step would trangress into a floorboard creak
ive reaches the summit or reality and the cliffs are steep
i take my last step forward to a shady place where me and death meet
my hair flaps with the wind as i fall from a sky blue
and when i told my mic i wouldnt let go, it replied "true...true."
i figured soon i would make the last sound and after that id be gone
but all of that changed when i fliped the off switch, to on.
i threw verses of what ive been thru and the way ive felt for true things
and before i hit the ground i think my tears did.... with music.... i grew wings...

lol... just foolin around.. i penned half of it in my notebook and then i started to keystyle it on here... just bored.. thats all.. lemme know how ya feeln.

YO SON TRY FOR OMENS YOU GOT ALOT OF TALENT AND I THINK YOU WOULD BE A VALUABLE MEMBER

i second that... just word on ya structure though...
go to our tryout thread... and drop a keystyle...
well read it, and if we like it, you in....
~Ashy~

feedback on this piece....
structure was off, and it kinda messed up your flow,
but once I caught on, I was likin this...
you could up your vocab a lil, but for a newbie, this aint
bad,... see thread above^.

hit this up please:http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=86862

~Ashy~

i can speak for for lyrikalkorean, hes not exactly a newbie, hes been on this site before and that cat can wreck on tha mic, i know you still got your battlin skills down dont ya,any way this piece was ill, it took a minute to get down ya structure and style but other than that when i got it down it was ill, this piece had good imagery, good vocab, all in all this piece was ill, hit up my 2 part piece in open mic and my "tribute to my sister" piece in poetic scriptures.keep droppin tha hotness.you need to make a trip to houston sometime boy come chill at my apartment and shit, brian and i just bought another double bubble bob today, looks exactly like chases old one, everythings tha same, hit me up sometime though kid, ~1~