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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
10-23-03, 08:29 AM
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#1
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Eddy.
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The pride..of a Warchild!
IP: FF40 570D
The pride of a Warchild !
Thru My eyes.. I see the pain in the childeren, eyes just like a big book.. I see the memories, in their faces, all destroyed, when will it be good?. All the nights they were so damn scared. Thru the eyes of a warchild.. Wonderin will i survive.., will i be saved by a 'human.. From this so called thing..'life' They got the world watchin T.v, and im sufferin here.. The got their phones in their pocket, makin fun of some queer.. But still im stuck in the shadow.. waitin on the end of this book.. It seems the chapter keeps repeatin.. never close to feel good.. But i stay strong till i found it... found my way out of this mess... No more a pawn, but a fighter.. puttin my destroyer in chess... They made me suffer made me cry... made me shout it out so loud, .. The took my life..they took my future,.. but im still standin proud!... The un-destroyable pride of a warchild..
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10-23-03, 09:33 AM
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#2
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Guest
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IP: F8EC 8A4B
sort of poetry here,good emotion shown as always,nice message and concept,shit had a meaning here,expression was real good,would be a slow song but a heartfelt one,vocab was descent throughout,flowed descently and i liked it.pretty good drop dawg.
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10-23-03, 09:33 AM
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#3
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Guest
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IP: F757 E505
This was nice... kept it simple... I like that... didn't overdo the vocab... good concept... my favorite verse was...
'But i stay strong till i found it... found my way out of this mess... No more a pawn, but a fighter.. puttin my destroyer in chess...' Peace.... |
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10-24-03, 09:11 AM
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#4
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Eddy.
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IP: FF40 570D
More feedback...
^Up
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10-24-03, 10:44 AM
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#5
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Guest
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IP: 3F03 EF03
yeah. .I was feeling this more as a poetry piece. . It had good structure but the content amazed me the most out of this piece. .Props on that. .Yeah overall just another good piece & a good read. .
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10-24-03, 11:03 AM
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#6
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Guest
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IP: 19AF 50C1
POPETIC AND ELEGEANT IN WRITTING MADE THIS PEACES TO A PUZZLE PERFECTLY DONE.
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10-24-03, 12:34 PM
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#7
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Eddy.
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IP: FF40 570D
Thnx nominate like Whoa!
Lol^^ Up^^
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10-25-03, 09:44 AM
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#8
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Eddy.
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IP: FF40 570D
Up^^
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10-25-03, 09:56 AM
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#9
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..Soft Focus..
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IP: A483 C413
that was a good peice...i think you should drop that as well in the poems forum...but your wordplay was great, your message got across very easily thats wat made me stick to it, and the emotion was hot...very well done...peace
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Open Mics The Weathers Art http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673 My Teenage Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850 Secluded http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851 Open Your Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461 |
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10-25-03, 10:01 AM
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#10
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Eddy.
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IP: FF40 570D
Thnx go to RoA forum..need ur activeness..lol^^
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