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10-25-03, 05:41 PM | #1 | ||||||
Guest
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I See You Girl . . . (Part II)
IP: A7AA 04A9
Things Have Been Getting Better . . .
So Right About Now We Know The Deal With Each Other . . . About Your Brother And How You Cant Reach Your Mother . . . Your Lonely Nights, Its Only Right If I Hold You Tight . . . I Told You Right, It Was So Very Cold That Night . . . I Dont Need Bold To Write, She Sets My Spirit Soaring . . . Heaven Hears It Pouring, I Sent My Heart Exploring . . . You're All Mixed Up, About Getting Fixed Up . . . But We Know This Will Be Great Once It Picks Up . . . I Need The Right Girl To Be On Top Of This Trite World, Its You . . . We'll Have It All When We Have A Ball, Girl You Know Its True . . . You Amaze Me, Make Me More Crazy For You Every Day . . . And Fuck The Weak Vocab, This Frum The Heart In Every Way . . . If You Dont Know Much, Girl Just Know That I Love You . . . You're My One And Only, And I Place Nobody Above You . . . (Same Girl As The Last Poem . . . Theres A Part III To Come) |
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10-25-03, 07:38 PM | #2 | |||||||
one wink
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IP: 17A6 BC21
Part III?...oh...
Personally you've been getting a lot of praise for your other one...Persoanlly I don't feel all the hype over it. Another love story, one which I didn't feel to much, sorry. Fairly normal, plain and usual. Just not my thing. But a lot of people did feel it, so I suppose you were doing something good. |
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10-26-03, 12:04 AM | #3 | |||||||
Spectator
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IP: 1A70 9542
On a site like this, with the amount of members there are, you are bound to get more than one person posting love poetry.. However each has their own style, word use, emotional expression etc etc.. So instead of looking at this as just another love poem look for its uniqueness.
existance, you do have your own style, and its good.. You say what you feel, expressed well, and its written well. The only critique I'd have is Whats With Using A Capital In Every Word. Ive seen it a few times.. and I just don't get it. If anything, it takes the emphasis away from particular parts of your pieces that you may be trying to emphasise, if that makes sense..
__________________
Great spirits often encounter violent opposition from mediocre minds.
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10-26-03, 12:50 AM | #4 | ||||||||
one wink
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IP: 17A6 BC21
Quote:
Was that to me? |
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10-26-03, 12:57 AM | #5 | |||||||
Str8 From CopKilla Queens
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IP: 399E F0FD
^Dont sweat it, personally i agree it was alot of hype over prt 1 and i wasnt really feeling that one or this one too much, but what do i know, do ya shit, 1luv.
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10-26-03, 05:14 AM | #6 | |||||||
Banned: Cheater
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IP: 410A 85CC
2 more post kid an u can change ya shit under ya avatar
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10-26-03, 05:14 AM | #7 | |||||||
Banned: Cheater
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IP: 410A 85CC
Duece was wak
the first one had more bitches anywayz an it was just better |
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10-26-03, 06:01 PM | #8 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: A7AA 04A9
I Only Write About Whats Going On In My Life . . . If Suttin Else Comes Up Then You'll Get Suttin Better Than A Love Story, I Feel You Self, They Get Too Mushy . . . I Liked Part I Better . . . But Lets Get Some Critique . . . 1
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10-26-03, 09:44 PM | #9 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: A7AA 04A9
Oh And Lynch, I'd Like To See You Do Better Dawg . . . And If Poetry Aint Your Thing, I'll Serve You In Battle Too . . .
Uppin For People To Actually Comment On The Poetry And Not The Hype Around My Writing . . . 1 |
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10-26-03, 09:46 PM | #10 | |||||||
Guest
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IP: A7AA 04A9
Quote:
^^^ You Freepost And Then Comment Suttin Dumb, More Bitches ? ? You Obviously Didnt Even Read Them Because Its Only About One Girl . . . You're Fucking Smooth . . . Ghost . . . |
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10-27-03, 09:06 AM | #11 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: F718 7AAD
People need to be more open to everything and stop looking at the same thing over and over. You write whats true and whats going on from the heart. Not a lot of people can do it but your able to express it with ease. I hate procrastinatin with sh!t so I say it straight forward. Not about the structure or words but the meaning within. Great peice. I'm looking forward to the third one. Keep it up Spect JT
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10-27-03, 06:02 PM | #12 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: A7AA 04A9
^^^ Good Looks . . . It'll Be Coming Within A Week Or Two
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10-29-03, 09:10 PM | #13 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 8A94 AECE
Uppin . . . 1
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