10-15 bars
due my 12 midnight due to i will be out

aight here we go

The way the streets are these days all these bad bitches comin my way, just like you , i woulndt mind a fight with you, bitch. Ill make your brain turn to mush with the rhymes i make. Lets just hope you make no mistakes like, fuckin wit me and my dog cause when u fuck wit us, youll get capped and get wraped in a body bag. Isnt it so sad how how you followed the fads and how you listen to ur dad when he said son dont get mixed up in gangs and such, cause when you get into a gang theyll try and get you to do bad things, and to smoke fat trees. So be careful son your dad said dont end up like little jimmy, whos little jimmy you said and your dad said Little jimmys dead!

no beef we cool i no its bad but its my first

in my time i my lines would never see you/ even the the wackest rappers realize they wish they could never be you
hit you with shots till ya body is see through
you got me laughin like a (2 year old could beat you)
i know your new but you got some issuse/ but goin against me will leave ya "snot" box -- rocked with holes through ya "tissue"
if you never rapped again/ i know no-one would miss-you
youve been the easieast tube i've ever spit threw
aint try to get critical/ just tryin to get you to elevate would just be mystical


if i lose i lose but i aint try holla
keep writin playa things will happen

this was a typical battle from two newbs but having to vote on it i would give it to 1liner cause his structure was easier to read and his verse was betta to me my opinion kna mean ~1~

p.s. both of da emcees need to read other battles and try to get examples of how to do their battles in da following futures holla

ill keep tryin but go help out your eeps cause thay cryin and is cause your dyin at the hand of my mic and why wont you like the rhymes that im throwin at you, youll stick to what eva u stick to just like glue, and ill come up behind and grind you with my 9 fool.
I hope you learned you lesson and you should goto connfession and tell your local priest that im eatin you just like a feast bitch.

1Liner took this, punches were just not there apoc...

best punch:
"i know your new but you got some issuse/ but goin against me will leave ya "snot" box -- rocked with holes through ya "tissue"
if you never rapped again/ i know no-one would miss-you"

here's some tips (apoc asked for some):

start with better structure, make your lines somewhat close to the same length and the flow should be almost dead on (watch the syllables though , sound them out) - 1liner, take heed to this too, your styles good but structure is choppy

go for punches that are puns - a play on words, not just somethin mean or derogatory, but somethin that makes you laugh at the same time as puttin the other cat down

but #1 thing to avoid being a herb.... don't use basic words to rhyme at the end of sentences (too, you, who,) UNLESS you use them so witty that they are worth it OR you use them in combo rhymes like "you too" and "Blue hue" ect... and if you vote, EXPLAIN THE VOTE peeps hate when you just put "so & so took this easy"

peace

vote honest here:

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=90294

I GIVE IT TO 1LINER YOU KILLED ME WIT THE SEE THROUGH THING CUZ THATS MY VOTE TILL THEN IM OUT THIS BITCH CUZ 1 AND ELEVATE YALL SHIT TO

1liner did everything a lil better...He at least had metas and some strong punches......................
///////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=90289

hit this one up too///////////////////////////////////////

1liner.. i mean common on its obviouse

vocab-neither
Meta-1liner
punchess-1liner
structure-1liner

overall-1liner

Vote 1liner...

Not a good battle but he took it...

Better punches etc.

Blah, blah, blah

upiin i need this closed
.................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ..........

i can see 1liners first win clearly
ya did aight with better shit n all
vote=1

due to punches,flow...not structure pz

MAKE SURE YA HIT THIS UP PZ
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=91806