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Old 12-02-03, 06:10 PM   #1
Dev
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Get on the Mic.....

IP: 07E0 A9F2

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...4753#post954753
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...4793#post954793
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...&threadid=95748

Rhyming’s a way of life like a fucking knife… cutting through society’s slice
Don’t think twice I didn’t… don’t be timid… it makes me livid
-Tip the pivot and really give it ya all… stand tall
Don’t be a small shrinking violet Ya typed it… so get on the mic
-An voice ya fight… ignite it… the night… despite the lack of light
You’ll still stand bright...so long as ya words flow fuckin tight…
Don’t be nervous…cos you can curve this…jus be thin’nk assertive…
What’s the purpose… of biding hiding through the shadows shakin…
Get off ya arse and start the making… squash the faking… relieve the aching
From money taking soul breaking back to the streets…back to the making
-to Where it belongs…leave the commercial songs…jus droning on
“I shot him, im hard as fuck”, with a bullet stuck... this dawg is gone
beyond ya help…I feel ya pain it’s a fucked up game… who’s in the frame?
That’s my point there it goes again…an endless circle shifting the blame
Enflame, turn ppl insane…moving the minds, put them back to pre-fame…

First draft of an audio verse………
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Old 12-02-03, 06:14 PM   #2
Dev
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dont start saying the vocab could use some work cos thats the way i intended it.....i do plenty wit hvocab in other shit,,\ight...pZ
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Old 12-02-03, 06:23 PM   #3
rule
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this was a good audio peace i think it will sound good, it had a good flow actually had some good vocab you dont seem to think so though...i think you had some very thought out lines in this well done...peep word p'z 7 realest...pz
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Old 12-02-03, 07:35 PM   #4
FormulaMC
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This Will Definately Turn Into An Ill Open Mic. The Flow Was Great. . I Didn't Lose It While I Was Reading. Props For That. Everything Else Was Good. No Complaints On Vocab or Structure. The Multi's Were Great When Used. Can't Wait To Peep The Next Draft.

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Old 12-02-03, 07:39 PM   #5
NewPort
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Vocab Could Use Sum Work.. lol

No But Seriously It Could. You Had An Ight Sense Of It
But The Sense Of Knowing How To Use It Was Blah..
Threw The Flow Off Horribly.. The Depth Wasn't THere
Potential Was, Just Learn How To Gain Up To It
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Old 12-02-03, 07:47 PM   #6
Dev
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lol...thanx Aus.....playing ma words....get it...but nah thanx ....only a first draft.......taking it on for the final aight....pZ....any more?
oh an thanx to rule and formula aswell....... appreciated....
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Old 12-03-03, 02:49 PM   #7
Menik
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Yeah i agree this was alright man.....Your structure in this was good like usual lol....i wont comment on the vocab though lol....the flow in this was alright, could be a little better though, ive seen better from you...but this should be a good audio....overall this was alright..keep at it.
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Old 12-03-03, 03:13 PM   #8
Provoked Images
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“I shot him, im hard as f**”, with a bullet stuck... this dawg is gone

(edited for blocks at school's cpu...^)
this line was pretty tite...

anywayz...

tha flow was off at times but it is an audio so that may chang wit tha way u rap it...
the concept was nice although u didn't get into it for awhile...
overall...nice drop...keep elevatin...
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Old 12-03-03, 03:39 PM   #9
MD_killa20
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yeah yeah dunny this seems like a coo please... like to hear it on the audio track or somthin... but the vocab like the man's said... low on level status... but yeah like i said... coo peice

not wack... just needs small elevation... kill it kid... on3
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Old 12-03-03, 03:49 PM   #10
Jo-JO
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personally I thought that it was okay but it wasn't the best flow. Given a little revision I think it could be completly on pac.pz and luv
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20 A man who has riches without understanding is like the beasts that perish
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