(CHORUS) I DISPLAY SOMTIN SIMILIAR TO M FATHERS BRAVERY, I GOT HEART LIKE A SOLIDGA, SPITTIN AND LIVIN WITH OUT COME IN GODS HANDS LIKE THE WORLDS NEARY OVA, SAMPLE A PIECE OF THE HUSTLE, FOR ALL MY NIGGAZ PUMPIN THAT CRACK.C U THOUGHT U WERE JUS LISTENIN TO MUSIC BUT ITS SO MUCH MORE THEN THAT, CUZ THE KIDS LIFE AINT NOTIN MORE THEN THE ELEMENTZ OF RAP



YO I WAS FED UP WIT MINES, TIRED OF LIVIN, TIRED OF PRETENDIN, TIRED OF ME AND MY NIGGAZ BEIN VIEWD AS NOTIN BUT MIS GUIDED CHILDREN, FED UP WIT THESE SO CALLED EMCEES SPITTIN BOUT NOTIN MORE THEN THE MONEY AND KILLIN,MY WHOLE WORLD FLIPPED, I THOUGHT I REACHED THE TOP BUT REALITY WAS I WAS JUS SITTIN ON THE CELLIN,CUZ MY ACCOUNTS NOTIN BUT ZEROS BUT NOT THE KIND THAT ADD UP TO MILLIONS THE KIND OF ZEROS THAT LEAVE U FLAWLESS AND DWELLIN IN PROJECT BUILDINS/ COULD AFFORD THE STREET HIGH SO WE POPPIN MOMS PENICILLIN, WAITIN FOR A NUMBNESS SENSATIOIN, A GET AWAY FROM ALL FEELILNS,NO INCOME ON MY B HALF, STRICKLY WORK FOR THE TIPS, ME AND MY NIGGAZ FLOW HOT LIKE THE SUN BUT NIGGAZ BLOCKIN US LIKE A SOLAR ECLIPSE, ALL MY NIGGAZ SPIT HARD, BURN YA CHEST CAVITY,STRICKLY TALENT ON MY SQUAD, THE SITUATION WIT THESE EMCEES TURNS INTO CASUALTIES,IM ON AN INTENSE SEARCH WIT HEAVY ARTILERY LIKE BOUNTY HUNTERS OVA SEAS, NIGGAZ FRONT LIKE THEY NEVA HEARD BOUT MY ROSTER THE KAMUNITION'S, CIVIL'S AND OK 3'S, NOTIN BUT HEAVY WEIGHTS ON MY TEAM, TALKIN BOUT ELASTIC WASTE BANDS, AND 5X TEES,NIGGA FUCK A REGULAR OR SMALL MY NIGGAZ SUPREMES AND IF U THINK UR FUCKIN WIT MY SQUAD, STOP CHASIN THEM UNREALISTIC DREAMS,YALL NIGGAZ CLAIM TO SPIT HEAT, BUT U AINT SPITTIN QUITE LIKE US THOUGH, AFTER ONE ALBUM, ILL B IN RETIREMENT MODE AND READY TO WALK AWAY FROM THE GAME AS A LEGEND LIKE HOVE, I DOVE INTO THE GAME HEAD FIRST, WHILE BUYIN NAMES I HAD ONLY ONES DREAMED OF CRYSTALE, DON P BUT NONE SEEMED TO HAVE QUENCHED MY THIRST/SHIT SEEMD TO HAVE ONLY GOTTEN WORST, THE GAME WHEN IN A STATE OF EMERGENCY SO YOUNG KAM WENT TO A NURSE,THE WEST WAS PLACED IN A CASKET BUT THEY 4GOT TO CLOSE THE DOORS TO THE HURST, WE REINCARNATED, ROSE FROM NEARLY BEIN DEAD SHAKIN THE STINCH OF DEATH OFF THE SHIRT,HAD TO BRING THE WEST BACK TO GLORY SO THE YOUNG GOLDEN CHILD WENT TO WORK, WHY RAP OF AN OPPINION, IF U CAN SPIT THE FACTS,RAPS BOUT THE PAIN AND STRUGGLE & SO IS MY LIFE, SO THE KIDS LIFE AINT NOTIN MORE THEN THE ELEMENTS OF RAP

YO JUS SUMTIN I WROTE THE OTHA DAY LOOKIN FOR SOME CONSTRUCTIVE FEED BACK

HOLLA

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of peoples you left feedback on or this will get deleted..

But this was ok....your structure needs some work though, dont put it in paragraph form like that, it throws the reader off, so you should put it line on top of line, and make the lines around the same length then it would be structured decent....but just work on that...keep at it.

i agree on the structure shit dogg, but apart from that i feel you mayne. this is the kinda rap ima trying to portray. too many rappers sound the same and wack, but this shit aint dope, its good mayne, look 4ward to reading mo of yo rhymes, piece mayne

thanx dawgz....uppin

IP: CF31 00F1


(CHORUS) I DISPLAY SOMTIN SIMILIAR TO M FATHERS BRAVERY, I GOT HEART LIKE A SOLIDGA, SPITTIN AND LIVIN WITH OUT COME IN GODS HANDS LIKE THE WORLDS NEARY OVA, SAMPLE A PIECE OF THE HUSTLE, FOR ALL MY NIGGAZ PUMPIN THAT CRACK.C U THOUGHT U WERE JUS LISTENIN TO MUSIC BUT ITS SO MUCH MORE THEN THAT, CUZ THE KIDS LIFE AINT NOTIN MORE THEN THE ELEMENTZ OF RAP



YO I WAS FED UP WIT MINES, TIRED OF LIVIN, TIRED OF PRETENDIN, TIRED OF ME AND MY NIGGAZ BEIN VIEWD AS NOTIN BUT MIS GUIDED CHILDREN, FED UP WIT THESE SO CALLED EMCEES SPITTIN BOUT NOTIN MORE THEN THE MONEY AND KILLIN,MY WHOLE WORLD FLIPPED, I THOUGHT I REACHED THE TOP BUT REALITY WAS I WAS JUS SITTIN ON THE CELLIN,CUZ MY ACCOUNTS NOTIN BUT ZEROS BUT NOT THE KIND THAT ADD UP TO MILLIONS THE KIND OF ZEROS THAT LEAVE U FLAWLESS AND DWELLIN IN PROJECT BUILDINS/ COULD AFFORD THE STREET HIGH SO WE POPPIN MOMS PENICILLIN, WAITIN FOR A NUMBNESS SENSATIOIN, A GET AWAY FROM ALL FEELILNS,NO INCOME ON MY B HALF, STRICKLY WORK FOR THE TIPS, ME AND MY NIGGAZ FLOW HOT LIKE THE SUN BUT NIGGAZ BLOCKIN US LIKE A SOLAR ECLIPSE, ALL MY NIGGAZ SPIT HARD, BURN YA CHEST CAVITY,STRICKLY TALENT ON MY SQUAD, THE SITUATION WIT THESE EMCEES TURNS INTO CASUALTIES,IM ON AN INTENSE SEARCH WIT HEAVY ARTILERY LIKE BOUNTY HUNTERS OVA SEAS, NIGGAZ FRONT LIKE THEY NEVA HEARD BOUT MY ROSTER THE KAMUNITION'S, CIVIL'S AND OK 3'S, NOTIN BUT HEAVY WEIGHTS ON MY TEAM, TALKIN BOUT ELASTIC WASTE BANDS, AND 5X TEES,NIGGA FUCK A REGULAR OR SMALL MY NIGGAZ SUPREMES AND IF U THINK UR FUCKIN WIT MY SQUAD, STOP CHASIN THEM UNREALISTIC DREAMS,YALL NIGGAZ CLAIM TO SPIT HEAT, BUT U AINT SPITTIN QUITE LIKE US THOUGH, AFTER ONE ALBUM, ILL B IN RETIREMENT MODE AND READY TO WALK AWAY FROM THE GAME AS A LEGEND LIKE HOVE, I DOVE INTO THE GAME HEAD FIRST, WHILE BUYIN NAMES I HAD ONLY ONES DREAMED OF CRYSTALE, DON P BUT NONE SEEMED TO HAVE QUENCHED MY THIRST/SHIT SEEMD TO HAVE ONLY GOTTEN WORST, THE GAME WHEN IN A STATE OF EMERGENCY SO YOUNG KAM WENT TO A NURSE,THE WEST WAS PLACED IN A CASKET BUT THEY 4GOT TO CLOSE THE DOORS TO THE HURST, WE REINCARNATED, ROSE FROM NEARLY BEIN DEAD SHAKIN THE STINCH OF DEATH OFF THE SHIRT,HAD TO BRING THE WEST BACK TO GLORY SO THE YOUNG GOLDEN CHILD WENT TO WORK, WHY RAP OF AN OPPINION, IF U CAN SPIT THE FACTS,RAPS BOUT THE PAIN AND STRUGGLE & SO IS MY LIFE, SO THE KIDS LIFE AINT NOTIN MORE THEN THE ELEMENTS OF RAP