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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
12-11-03, 03:25 PM
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#1
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Sharp Perfection.
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useless pain
IP: 4427 B15C
Pain slowly becomes useless,
Its past effect is no more. Bigger problems are emerging, Ones even slits don’t ignore. This moment I am living, Is one horrid deja vue. With a stomach maybe growing, I’m left without a clue. With one mishap repeated, It’s changed my vision upside down. Looking through another’s eyes at myself, Has changed this smile to a frown. This living world and its wonders, Use to leave me breathless at its sights. But now with a thicker mind, All I see is war and useless fights. I miss the way life use to be, But there’s no going back from here. I force myself into the unknown land, And the worse part is..I am my only fear! ~Tera~ DONT HATE
__________________
R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~ keep singing in heaven |
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12-11-03, 04:45 PM
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#2
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Guest
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IP: DA18 ABFD
nice feeling some of it but not all but this two bars or w/e
This living world and its wonders, Use to leave me breathless at its sights. But now with a thicker mind, All I see is war and useless fights. ^^^^^^ WORD!! I force myself into the unknown land, And the worse part is..I am my only fear! FEELING IT^^^^ dat fear part and the sights and fight i was like * Holy shit some one see wat i see * like unno wat i mean?? But fricking tight two verse for Shiz ~PEACE~ |
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12-12-03, 04:47 PM
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#3
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Sharp Perfection.
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IP: 4427 B15C
thanks for the reply!!!!!
~Tera~ DONT HATE
__________________
R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~ keep singing in heaven |
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12-13-03, 08:11 AM
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#4
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Guest
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IP: C149 8644
iam feeling it....i battle with death daily so anything about it pain etc i like..... real nice ~1~
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12-13-03, 11:56 AM
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#5
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Banned
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IP: 4262 3F94
YEAH THIS REALLY NICE MAN...KEEP ELAVATING FO SHO
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ |
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12-15-03, 01:25 PM
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#6
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Sharp Perfection.
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IP: 4427 B15C
thanks ppl!!!!!!!
Can i get some more replies pls!! ~Tera~ DONT HATE
__________________
R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~ keep singing in heaven |
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12-15-03, 09:33 PM
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#7
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..Soft Focus..
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IP: 1B3B C284
this was a good piece, your stanzas were all really creative good indepth desriptions i felt you had some really good lines in this you captured the reader really well, good drop.
If you have time, can you check out my poem weathers an art...thank you
__________________
Open Mics The Weathers Art http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673 My Teenage Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850 Secluded http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851 Open Your Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461 |
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12-16-03, 12:28 PM
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#8
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Guest
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IP: 7AFC 236C
a cuz you is at the top of da game or is tryin to get there this piece was nice
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12-20-03, 05:24 AM
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#9
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Guest
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IP: 9B33 081B
this piece shows your undeniable talent...i got so caught up in your words and their meaning i had to read it a second time to analyze how you wrote it.
With one mishap repeated, It’s changed my vision upside down. Looking through another’s eyes at myself, Has changed this smile to a frown. impressive.....nice vocab. the flow reminded me of something but i still can't quite put my finger on it........nice piece |
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