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12-17-03, 09:44 PM | #1 | ||||||
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Just My Thoughts
IP: C149 8644
i wake up to gun shots,sirens and loud screams
children with hopes and dreams of seeing more then brick walls and screens teens who greatly lean on the society the media portays i live in a concrete jungle where death and life together plays its always hot in the ghetto whether its the weather or the block where the ethnicities run in flocks and the pursuit of the white rock keeps cops runnin like jocks with stainless glocks around the clock trying to prevent further shock of illegal sustances being docked on the door steps of our people when will it ever stop why doesnt pain knock before it convinces your heart to drop generation to generation father to son mother to daughter we need to wake cause mentally were being slaughtered and the alarm was suppose to go off.................. many years ago but the batteries that lead our society seem to be running low so who will present the charge the boost the ol kick in the pants that will enhance us as a race and not as an individual man quick keystlye....hope u feel me http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=98821 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=94145 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=99360 Last edited by TheAnointeD : 12-17-03 at 09:50 PM. |
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12-18-03, 05:32 PM | #2 | |||||||
Middle Weight
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IP: C29C BF71
im feelin the poem, good stuff. a reason i like it so much has to do that i feel it, and that we got similar styles.
vocab-6/10 rhymes-8/10 message-8/10 feelings-7/10 metas/similes-7/10 overall-36/50 final thoughts:felt the poem alot, and dont think of my opinion as a bad one, i like this alot, its just that its hard to acheive perfection.
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Po'Ethics.
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12-18-03, 10:03 PM | #3 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 8C48 531C
wow man, i really liked your poem, everything made alot of sense and it relates to the most of the world today. it's powerfull stuff, keep up the good work!
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