RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 12-18-03, 09:58 AM   #1
CrackaBox187
New to RV
 
CrackaBox187's Avatar
 
Posts: 80
From: Charlie-o, Chuck
to early for all this

IP:

We some hard ass niggas,
and we deep in this game,
let a nigga talk shit,
hard to think without your brains,
Ima take your hoe,
bend her up grab her legs,
flip back round,
and get a lil head,
ridin in tha lac,
with a body in the back,
scalp this nigga,
over a lil crack,
can't step to these young niggas,
hard niggas, thug niggas,
feel this steel,
let me see your blood nigga,
hug your mouth around my snub nigga,
sneeze nigga, pulla trigga,
blow a hole nigga,
throught you and hoe niggas

reviewed:
MJ a.K.a ThaDon
Vescocity (2)
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-18-03, 10:12 AM   #2
A.T.
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

alright... this would have been better if you would've put it into
this kinda structure...

We some hard ass niggas, and we deep in this game,
let a nigga talk shit, hard to think without your brains,
Ima take your hoe, bend her up grab her legs,
flip back round, and get a lil head,
ridin in tha lac, with a body in the back,
scalp this nigga, over a lil crack,
can't step to these young niggas,
hard niggas, thug niggas,
feel this steel, let me see your blood nigga,
hug your mouth around my snub nigga,
sneeze nigga, pulla trigga,
blow a hole nigga, throught you and hoe niggas


now all that you need to do is fill in the lines to make em as even
as possible... it will definately help out your flow...
and dont rhyme nigga wit nigga, lmao ( i aint one to say that word)
but yo... it cool as hell in this case right?
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-18-03, 10:39 AM   #3
CrackaBox187
New to RV
 
CrackaBox187's Avatar
 
Posts: 80
From: Charlie-o, Chuck
IP:

aight A.T. Thanx yo hold'em down
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-18-03, 02:58 PM   #4
Menik
Word.
 
Menik's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,017
From: Mifflinburg, PA
IP:

Yeah this was ok....you just need to work on your structure like A.T. Showed you and it will all come together then...and keep all the lines even so it helps the flow out...try adding a few more multies to this though to help it out...but keep at it.
Send a message via AIM to Menik Send a message via MSN to Menik   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:59 PM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.