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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
12-30-03, 10:27 PM
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#1
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*On Probation*
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Man on the Moon - Bedtime
IP: AAF1 A3DB
My baby boy..
Travel the lands of many untold secrets Nothing in place is to be hidden But all that is found holds a gloriousness The future breathes it's gold dust Sparkling like the bright stars watching above Each step bringing priceless values The past resting anxious ready to catch you For all of us will fall behind at times But the hopeful road forward is crystal clear The sun pours warmth into your soul Flowing through your body like boiling blood The cold becoming no longer common Dont look to the sky, you've already passed Endless oportunities are now seen Doors are unlocked to live only imagined dreams Where the darkness rests with light And where the night shares the day You are that special boy to sit above the others Sit on your throne of story book beauty You are my.. Man on the moon..
__________________
Sonz Of Enlightenment  {TRILOGY}
.IpsØ.ƒactØ.
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12-31-03, 02:30 AM
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#2
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*On Probation*
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IP: AAF1 A3DB
sleepin eh.. replied to a few othas.. up..
holla
__________________
Sonz Of Enlightenment {TRILOGY}
.IpsØ.ƒactØ.
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01-01-04, 02:18 PM
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#3
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*On Probation*
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IP: AAF1 A3DB
zzz? no relpied yet :\
__________________
Sonz Of Enlightenment {TRILOGY}
.IpsØ.ƒactØ.
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01-01-04, 07:33 PM
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#4
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..Soft Focus..
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IP: 1B3B C284
this was a good piece, short but well detailed you had some good imergy i liked it well writtin keep it up
if ye got time...peep my weathers art...pz
__________________
Open Mics The Weathers Art http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673 My Teenage Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850 Secluded http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851 Open Your Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461 |
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01-03-04, 11:56 AM
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#5
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Spectator
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IP: 1A70 9542
This was beautiful. Had a real old time bedtime story feel to it. I love how you have opened with the line, My Baby Boy.. it really drew me in even in its simplicity. There is just something so endearing about those words.. Maybe because I think of my son when I read them, for me personally..
Your vocab was great, some vivid imagery there. It read smoothly and effortlessly off the page.. Beautiful write.
__________________
Great spirits often encounter violent opposition from mediocre minds.
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01-03-04, 12:29 PM
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#6
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Guest
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IP: 1617 F1D2
ish was short...but i liked it alot...the imagery was very nice...i got an awesome image while reading...it flowed well with the way it was written...keep it up...STAY UP
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