RapVerse.com Community - My Teenage Eyes

01-10-04, 09:59 AM

rule

..Soft Focus..

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My Teenage Eyes

IP: CE0C B4D7

Perspectives of my lifes emotions constantly denied to believe
Declare everything normal as I choke everytime I try to breath
From heart felt memeries of the past now the devils my friend
I turn my head to my pillow to pray to the lord for help again
Comfort me..because..i'm going to be absolutly honest now
These are my true..emotions..listen.. as I try to calm down

Constantly trying to fit in with a crowd attempt a regular smile
Say something rediculous as usual another case on my trial
Act hyper..if i wasn't chrostaphibic..Basically I hide my identity
How does a kid who hides in shadows have so many enimies
I try to understand put these horrors in the back of my mind
Attempt a new day with a new sun but days seem to rewind
Hit replay another preview no commercials for hope or trust
Pretend i'm special..but dam..I know i'm another piece of dust
Images of a best friends support unlikely vital attempts..abort
I'm reachin out my hand right beside you I still end up short
A regular bases I clown myself I hate the person in the mirrow
No friends or lovers just a river flowen thats dirty. It's unclear

Restricted from guidness so I ask my self these questions
Who am I? Why's the devil on my shoulders? A life lesson?
Nobody really knows councillers don't help a waiste of time
Longin to be a somebody..but what's out there for the blind?
Regular routine of pitty with a rainbow above from my tears
But these tears aren't skiddles there to let out my lonely fears
Obscene emotions to the society that surrounds my actions
Doesn't enforce friendship..hell..only participated attraction
Leaving me left cold I feel devistated but to who do I explain
My every tear, envy, wish hope, ounce of adapted pain..who..
When nothings what you see or what you see is nothing..true?
I'll touch bases on all my lost smiles fired onta another face
Where a frown was suppose tobe neglected but took its place

Heart pumps slow for the blood is leaking out of the skin tissue
Propably wont live tobe old concious says who gunna miss you
So I concentrate on whats good but it leaves a blank page
Against evil loves a puberty issue..it's just another stage
That lasts when your asleep until dreams evolve spirites
Chases cupid out of my destiny a mans supose tobe fearless
Unprotected soul lost in the fog of a acid dynasty to erupt
I'll have another day to deny myself..but enough is enough
Taking issues as they came isn't resolving anything at any rate
Lost child who's birthed with a mom on the pill..a true mistake
Lifes full of regrets don't take sympathy as it comes I learned
Gave advice in the past..now the tables irationaly turned
Physically lookin at M-J you wouldn't see any differance of me
Hated now..tragic..I listen to the words in the past for theropy
Character trade off..love for hate..hate for love..it's retarded
Ask another question..if lifes torture..why even let it be started

Life isn't all fun and games Life's a game and it isn't amusing
Strings break examples of hate are all around you blooming
But the peddles of a flower unwatered are still worth reading
Still worthy of a fresh bucket of water to continue breathing
I'll attack my life painting with a brush built for a storm..
take what is truthfully mine..
Even though hell was where I was born...
Paralized hate for 16 years I see clear the depths of demies
stabilized the hate..
To let loose..create a heavon for my teenage eyes...

Replied To: Phrantik, Dr. Gonzo Cinderalla

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Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

01-10-04, 02:54 PM

prophacyz

^will fuck you up

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that shit was hot rule...every teen can relate to that shit...very deep and profound...

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01-11-04, 01:28 PM

DthsMissingAngel

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I agree with prophacyz every teen can relate to it. It seems as if you portrayed every view of a teen's life and thinking. At least the teens whom I have known have had this same thinking. I liked this. It was deep and scheme was great along with vocab. Overall I liked it. Great job. Keep it up

01-12-04, 08:48 PM

rule

..Soft Focus..

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thanks a lot...uppen

01-12-04, 08:55 PM

Verbatim

That's Right...I'm White

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that was real nice rule, you have elevated alot since i've been gone, like what prop said, every teen can relate to that shit, keep up, look forward to seein more from you...
don't forget to check out my latest, called Met this girl....the link is in my siggy

peace!

01-14-04, 03:50 PM

rule

..Soft Focus..

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thanks uppen

01-15-04, 07:57 AM

filed

Sharp Perfection.

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Rule with all your pieces you always bring your messages in a very strong way. This piece was written with good emotion and feeling put in to it, and it seemed natural. The flow was great and so was the structure. vocab was good for the piece. but the message was the vocal point and you did a great job describing it and putting it all in words. i like how you took alot of the problems teenagers face and put them in one poem, instead of focusing on one. you have a nice way with putting together feelings and words.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

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R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~
keep singing in heaven

01-15-04, 08:17 PM

rule

..Soft Focus..

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thanks that means a lot...you have anything i can check out of yours?

01-17-04, 08:16 PM

rule

..Soft Focus..

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uppn

01-17-04, 08:22 PM

#10

rule

..Soft Focus..

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uppen for some more replies

01-18-04, 11:58 AM

#11

shawty"B"

Posts: 96

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From: Tha many wishes that people make in their dreams...tha depths of a cutters cuts...as shallow as they seem

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yo rule this was tite.deep and evry1 can agree wit prop evry teen can relete to this in 1 way or anotha.... i like how you took a rangeof conflicts and placed them all into one poem. great job...keep it up........return thu fava n read mine.....its called "Two Seconds"

01-20-04, 05:14 PM

#12

rule

..Soft Focus..

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uppen

01-22-04, 10:49 AM

#13

rule

..Soft Focus..

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uppen for some feedback...it is long but if you read it you may possibly like it:P

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