For the Baby
 

For the Baby(PLEASE READ IT ALL)

Waddup girl...its been too long since I saw you..
a 3 day weekend without a phone to call you..
that was tourture girl,but I was probably aloof..
but I love you girl,my heart says property of you.
Your friend said that funny shit,like I'm too hot to be with you.
but the day before the weekend,the one on top of me was you.
I haven't seen you since then,your friend got for me some news..
aint tell me nothin,cept it'll break our sovergnty in two..
I don't believe that,there's nothin that I can't settle with you..
this is true love,what we got here is never a fluke..
don't be scared baby you can tell me the news..
unless its that you fucked around and nailed you a dude..
I'm playin girl nothin gonna keep me from marryin you..
you fuckin perfect,many tried to break us up but nothing's workin..
but you seem to be avoidin me...is something hurtin?
don't worry,Ill be holding your hand if somethings surface.


(Chorus=girlfriend through email)
"Hey baby..I think I might be pregnant...please don't be mad..
I'm sorry...I'm sooooo sorry...love you mel..."

I got the messege on the net that you mailed today..
about the baby which you didn't even tell me to my face
but I'm okay...wait..that was a lie..I'm fuckin scared out of my mind!!
wait you could of cheated...we'll find out if its mine!!!
Wait..I'm trippin aint I?I aint even the same guy..I'm like an A.I.
sorry but this..alot of stuff to stuff a Dude...
I gotta rebuffer and recover how much I'm in love with you..
but you gotta wonder after lovin we gotta suffer too....right?
OH MY GOD GIRL!!!we close to creating a new life!?!?!?
I'm 14! he'll be 2 when I'm just about old enough to drive..
MY bad,MY loss,I'm sorry all this is my fault..
you had school too...and I HAD to take that night off..
and remove your nightgown...now..I gota see your face...
its just jitters I'm havin..everything we'll be okay...
why won't you come see me?We can be a real couple..
no matter what baby you my life..I still love you..

(Chorus=girlfriend through email)
"Hey Mel good news..I mixed the signs up..I guess blue meant
I'm NOT pregnant afterall! isn't that great?Well the reason I didn't
come see you is cause I was gettin implants Lol..well come over
and this time we'll use protection,peace luv ya boy ,xoxoxoxo"

Hey baby good news..I'm ready for birthin...
you gonna have to call me..since my email isn't workin..
anyway..I got life insurance..and I have a right to do it...
since I got a fake I.D. so now I'm licenced to it..
and I got double the dough,since I am a monority..
this gonna sound crazy..but I know my priorties..
and sometimes we have to do things,that we never liked..
and these things,can give us money,and a better life..
and right now,I don't even got a nickle on me.
But I'm in my dark basement..and I equiped a pistol on me..
and its thrusted against my head,I'm bout to be cut with the lead..
I tried usin a knife..but I fucked up..and my knuckles bled..
anyway..don't forget that...I did this to save you..
I love you girl..and to my baby I have names to name you..
if you a boy ya name is melvin,a daughter? call her brittany..
well I did this to be a good father..don't bother to miss me..

(click,click,*gunshot*)

(Chorus=girlfriend through email)
"where you at Mel I been waiting forever"

Whoa nice shit mane.......Lyrics were decent and the emotion hit hard. Dope piece here.

A shit was hot nice structure was feelin the flow I like the hook was e-mails she sent you that was hot nice piece fam I'd give it a 8.5/10

btw repay the favor link in sig!

omfg.. this actually like put tears to my eyes.. this was a dope piece.. the first verse was lacking i mean dont get me wrong its better then anything else u'll read on here.. but for u i coulda seen better.. but after that it just picked up soo fast.. and it was coming heavy the whole way thru.. the rhyme scheme was very nice.. the emotion was what sent this over the edge.. this is definitely top 3 pieces i've ever read on here.. and one of the other ones is written by you too.. this was a great piece.. definitely hall of fame material.. pz fam..

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Caught my emotion good shit homie good flow good structure......i like da hole damn thing......Pz i give it a 9/10......RTF link in my sig

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i'm tellin' you that was really dope 9.5/10 keep it going that was hot nice topic too

man, you really got this down nicely. OMG this really got me thinkin'. I loved this shit, man. really dope man. good shit. 9.5/10

plz return the favor i get slept on.

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=181257


but good shit homie. pc one

Whoa...very good piece. Straight emotion, great story, very fuckin dope. Whoa,,,I am flabergasted about this. Not much to say other than straight ill shit.

Whoa. :shocked:

yeah tahts wassup this shit was nice fam...

Topic / Lyrics / Flow pattern everything was illmatic and ill at it yah' mean

haha well anyways HOlla

real shit deph...nice to see my nigga comin back wit sumthin on key right now...got me wantin to do a deep track...guess we can talk mo on AIM...hol up real quick my nig

-DB

GET ON AIM NIGGA!

-DB

lmfao

This shit was killa ....felt the emotion u was bringin

lyrics were nice....structure was good

started off slow but picked it up in the end



....Welcome Back....

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so ill. loved it.. loved it... loved it...
so many good things to say about this piece, word.


i gotta collab idea. get at my pm page... pc.

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Love how the story progressed and how you managed to portray the situation in such a vivid, emotional yet powerful way.

Kept vocab quite simple which I liked because too high vocab can sometimes really affect the content of the piece but that wasn't the case here because you find a good balance.
Was also definately feeling your flow and I absolutely LOVED the twist in the ending.

I thought the guy had accepted the fact she was pregnant and then he does kill himself, that was a nice ending in my opinion. You kept switching back and forth between emotions and I'm sure as hell liking that.

Great read and made me think about some stuff actually (<- if you can do that, you know this was damn good)

DQ

This was really good 10/10 no doubt very thoughtfull and like evry1 sed hit emotions RTF plz

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^^ The fuck nigga? Stop stealing my style.......................
.................................................. .......bitch

Lol j/p

You made up for the shoddy spelling with the deepest shit I'v read from you.

A real Em/Nas/Dyslexic mix there.

Deep.

that first verse is how i feel right now...

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hol on ..... Lemme Go and get some Pussy ....................................Aii Now im bout to cry

10/10 mayne

terrific Piece .... keep up the good work

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Thanks for the lack of feed,preciate it.

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let me do you a favor and leave some feedback... since these dicks aren't... i like how it all came together in the end.. the topic was very good, cause lemme tell you, im tired of seein all these "ima shoot ya ass" open mics, but thats beside the point, this isn't the best i've seen from you, vocab. was decent but i don't care about that too much anyway... and i don't care about structure either.. so it was overall like 8/10.. i really liked the subject and how it all broke down.. nice shit.. i don't have any open mics out right now.. vote on a battle of mine or somethin...

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=182695

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ok.....i guess i have to be the honest one....again..

Well lets start with the good, its always good to start out with the good..I liked the whole story, alot of teens are going through that right now and even 2 people i know of are going through it as well that are logged onto RV...such as creativitie and konflicts...but yeh um, i liked the chorus's, except one part..but overall it was a good heart tugger...or tear dropper, whatever...

Now for the bad, well its not all that bad its just what i didnt like in it. first off was the spelling, doesnt microsoft word have spell check...fuckin homo...lol...unless you have a generic mac...which is a pointless computer. (it only has one button on the mouse!!). I didnt like the second chorus because it didnt seem like it was real...i mean, if i was that girl, i would of checked the instructions more than once just in case i was wrong ya feel me...i would be finding any excuse possible to be wrong....um...yeh the ending was um...kinda cheesy...haha..i mean a family needs a father even if he cant provide for em at the time...(eminem - mockingbird) anyways...nice drop overall....shit outta 10...lol...fuck the 1-10 scale i give ya 4 stars...


pz bro...