|
Love [Give me feedback and drop links so I can reply to yours too!]
A sweet story solemnly sets upon your lips and majestic melancholy music drowns my eyes. A tractile tear transits down my weary cheek. And love's long lusts choke so I do not speak. A sensational smile sweeps across my face And your divine devotion devours my tender sore heart . . . I watch wishfully as my fear starts to wince. And your impeccable and imposed eyes say we'll never part. A haughty hymn is heard throughout my soul and impiety is impassive and yet still impetuous in your dedicated eyes I feel as a whole and willingly wagered my heart to love but what is meant to be? We may never know... |
ay nice drop...feelin it...really likin dat first part...keep 'em comin...iight peace
|
i liked it it was nice
|
PHP Code:
|
nice poem, real heartfelt,you have some skills gurl........
|
You guys all kinda suck at "useful feedback' lol...but thanks for the compliments regaurding the piece...
|
nice poem keep up the good job
|
that's hot way to go
|
good poem i really felt it
|
Thanks...
|
never posted in this forum before. ever......
Queen.... Your vocab was nice. Seem pretty intelligent. Flo was well sorted. The whole poetry scheme fucks wit me tho. Dunno how to evaluate the shit. But ur a sunshine so I tried. nice job -1 |
in highschool i use 2 love writin poems i guess dat combined wit my love for music influenced me 2 write lyrics but yea n e ways u good gurl u seem pretty smart ya english teacher must love ya but keep droppin n neva give up on ur writin no mistakes seen but da fact like carsonx2 da rhyme sceame fucked wit meof at da same poems dont have 2 rhyme but keep droppin mo poems gurl i gotta get a link 2 my shit but yea liek i said open mic check me out holla
|
yo i was feelin it and i also enjoyed reading it and all your poems
peace luv 4 u |
Daym, It Makes Me Feel Wierd When I Cant Critisize Anything...
But With Your Work It's Just Not Neccesary... I'd Rate It A 9.8/10... Again, Just Because I'ma Dick Like That And Dont Give 10's... Sorry I Couldnt Give You Something To Work On... And Ayo, I'd Apreciate It If You Could Respond To This Piece... http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=137391 It's Actually A Rhym But It's Real Deep And Emotional Like Poetry But Has Flow... Thanks Alot Fem, Stay Up... .One. |
ruff_tuff_thug u dont stop do u.
IQ: Great poem tho, u got ur heart set in the words too, and u can feel the positive vibes. |
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:25 AM. |