Summer Rain (Spoken Word)
 

I know there is a seperate forum for this but nobody ever looks in there anyway so I figured I might as well post it in here.

Another Spoken Word track I did, originally this was written for a topical battle but I felt it would make a nice piece as spoken word so yeh...this is the result...

Summer Rain by Drama Queen


Left feedback to Dabatos and BlackMagik

Uhm upping I guess...

Sounds like a porno beat.

And of course you would know that huh...

Any constructive feed please?

^lol.

I liked the emotion you had towards the end of the track... I wasn't a fan of the beat you picked, but your story was nice, imagery was decent, your vocals sounded a little weird. Get at me on AIM sometime, k.

1

Thanks. I tried mixing it myself, next time I better leave it to people who know what they're doing lmao...

Umm..yeah I'd know that. You neever seen a porno before?[/dosen't believe you]


But the reason I didn't leave feedback beyond the beat is, how could I? It's spoken word. Your delivery is your own and there's no "flow" you rate, so what's there to say? You either like the message of the piece or you don't.

^Okay, I understand...thanks anyway...

No offense DQ, but it does sound like a porno beat, haha.

The lyrics are pretty dope, emotion is nice in here, I'm feeling it.

Reminiscing of last summer, laying still on greenest grass
Greyish eyes as pure as glass, unaware it would all pass
Seeking for depths of your soul covered by a shell of flesh
Playing with an apricot flower smelling so pure and fresh
Silently listening to birds’ laughter as I rest my head
On your shoulder when you suddenly stood up and said:
“Can you taste the summer; can you taste the real life?
This, for me, is ultimate happiness: no stress, no strife
I won’t experience it again, controlled by this rotten spot
Eaten by cancer as my existence been put on time slot”


That's the part I liked the most.

Lmao...y'all and your porno beats...I liked it *shrug*

Thanks for feed fam!

word my girl droppin that spoken word..NOT bad my first time peepin a spoken word drop and im feelin it...nice Topic nice imagery nice words used..im feelin ya emotion fits well with the topic...But...indeed i do want to hear u on some grimey shit lol...some gut pourin in a poetry polite kind of way lol if thats possible ;)..lol ne who keep up the good work....just work on quality a lil...i got bad quality too lol imma start lettin somebody mix mines from now on. but ne who ...keep droppin em.

Thanks girl for real...I'm working on the more grimey, political stuff...it's coming...

its straight the beat choice couldve been better. I think that you got good emotion and imagery is iight. Your vocal quality is kinda messed up, you sound real wierd. But I think its decent. The beginning wasnt that interesting but the middle and the end was better. Just get a better beat and quality and would be pretty good.

Can you leave feed on this please thanks 1
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=205666

Didnt like the beat choice either, but your words were from the heart and genuine,keep workin on it,and keep droppin.