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Old 04-27-04, 10:24 AM   #1
Darkman
darkmanner
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2004
From: UK
Status: Offline
Exclamation Second comin

IP: 0F6A C933

Made dis one durin last period at skool, tell me watcha think...

Yo...i spit flow like machine gun,
When i grab da mike i turn into a mean one,
RUN...don't turn back for a second, i'll
Bus a boy in 10 sec like dis was Tekken,
Yo...my prose leaves more bloodflows, than
Punchin a haemophiliac onda nose, ya
Dun know when i flow my enemies panic,
Like a preacher surrounded by da Satanic, they
Get scared...cos i'm more than they can bear, i'll
Take out a fool anytime,anywhere,
Come wid yo rhymes and i'll come wid mine,
See me spittin shots like an Uzi 9,
Tes'in me you mus be smokin herb,
Chat one word to me n you'll get served, twen'y
Plus verbs comin like multiple attacker,
Situation's gettin hairier than Chewbacca,
D...A...R...K...man, i
Rhyme so hot i leave da mike widda tan, if a
Random fool wants t make me turn, i'll
Make im learn, mess wid fire ya get burn
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Old 04-27-04, 10:26 AM   #2
luminaz
Flyweight
 
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Posts: 117
Joined: Mar 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 3-10
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
u suk

IP: 4C99 D992

u suk, lol

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Old 04-27-04, 10:31 AM   #3
Darkman
darkmanner
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2004
From: UK
Status: Offline
fool pleez

IP: 0F6A C933

luminuz i know where you live
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Old 04-27-04, 10:33 AM   #4
lilkdogg1988
Light Weight
 
Posts: 219
Joined: Jan 2004
From: Philidelphia Pa
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-6
Audio Record: 0-0
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IP: 08B7 7EED

Suck to the first reply! Luminaz first off get the stick out ya ass and it'll be all a dream when you loose to me or whoever mothafucka! but anyway that was really good!
well constructed and the only thing you need to work on is ya flow. so keep rhymin Holla back Young'n
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Old 04-27-04, 10:43 AM   #5
luminaz
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Posts: 117
Joined: Mar 2004
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Text Record: 3-10
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Ay

IP: 4C99 D992

U lost 4 battles so dnt talk like dat m8
Plus i was only jokin wit him hes my m8
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Old 04-27-04, 11:28 AM   #6
Mentalz
The Topical Juggernaut
 
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Posts: 885
Joined: May 2003
From: The Write Side of The Brain
Status: Offline
Text Record: 6-3
IP: C531 1B40

Runnin' spell check takes 2 minutes....

Flowed well, lacked Vocab, Good imagery structure was ok...
6/10

Keep droppin.
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