|
|
|
|
| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
09-24-04, 09:33 PM
|
#1
|
||||
|
A Way of Life
IP: 3240 794D
ok this is my 2nd Poem my poems are always used to improve life and change the way we live here I go.... Title:A Way of Life Let's Discuss...your Discust... for the way you live... why must you thrust the fuss..life's just is what it is... See the green on the grass...and not the dirt from the past... and the your life will pass...and the positive nature will last... Think of ways to improve....and not everything to lose... so you won't expose the wounds...of the cities mood... it's rude to point with fingers..but not to point out the events... that bring us down like killing theivings and all the drug dealings? which is the attitude that keeps....the cities status as weak... we will ever reach our peek if we don't seek...the peace... complaining creates violence...and Voilence creates Pilots... being Hijact which created the 9/11 sightings.... ~finished~ please crit peace 1luv
__________________
The Competition
 |
||||
 
|
|
|
09-25-04, 07:12 PM
|
#2
|
||||
|
IP: 0825 899A
yea uppin for some crits
__________________
The Competition
|
||||
|
|
|
|
09-25-04, 08:15 PM
|
#3
|
||||
|
IP: 0825 899A
PUHLEEEEAAAAse crit
 if ur gonna make a poem crit this 1st thanks
__________________
The Competition
|
||||
|
|
|
|
09-26-04, 10:38 PM
|
#4
|
||||
|
IP: 0825 899A
uppin
puhla puhleeeease
__________________
The Competition
|
||||
|
|
|
|
09-26-04, 11:38 PM
|
#5
|
||||
|
$Thug Life$
|
IP: 7113 B39E
its nice dont kno why ppl dont post but it was a good poem...
__________________
OutLawz
*(`'·.¸(`'·.¸**¸.·'´)¸.·'´)*
«´¨`·..* G_$peed *..·´¨`» *(¸.·'´(¸.·'´**`'·.¸)`'·.¸)*   _____________________
Hot Songz
|
||||
|
|
|
09-27-04, 01:45 PM
|
#6
|
|||||
|
<<-Carpe Noctum->>
|
IP: 0825 899A
yea, this was great, lyrically, your ill, you have great vocabulary and rhyming ability,,,i liked the last paragraph the best, it really closed this out nicely, good topic too, keep em comin!!!!
__________________
"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D   *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
|||||
|
|
|
09-27-04, 06:36 PM
|
#7
|
||||
|
IP: 28AD 5545
thanx fluid
why don't you join me and quick witted's crew itsTIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
__________________
The Competition
|
||||
|
|
|
|
09-29-04, 12:16 PM
|
#8
|
|||||||
|
New to RB
|
IP: 9253 500F
waddup another one that makes ya think it was good too i personally liked the first paragraph the best b/c it made me think more ni dont think anyone could ever change the cities mood
__________________
   waddup gangsta!?!?! R.I.P. Isaiah Ryder 7/11/82 - 2/26/04 tell all my people i'm a Ridah nobody cries when we die we outlaws let me ride until I get free I live my life in tha fast lane got police chasen me-Tupac |
|||||||
|
|
|
|
09-29-04, 01:38 PM
|
#9
|
|||||
|
IP: 28AD 5545
my favorite stanza in this would be the last one and the first one, proverse u did a nice job, u can tell ur poem wasn't rushed it flowed the way it was supposed to, my two favorite lines were
which is the attitude that keeps....the cities status as weak... we will ever reach our peek if we don't seek...the peace... ^good job^ ~wun~
__________________
|
|||||
|
|
|
10-01-04, 06:28 PM
|
#10
|
||||
|
atlas the vagabond
|
IP: E7CA 0AA7
i liked this one. The flow of it was nice, one that captures you and forces you to listen, but on a serious topic. I relate it, in terms of seriousness with flow, to Eminem's Renegade verse. It has the superior flow aspect of a battle verse, but it is not a battle verse. I liked that you seemed to take on a teacher role in this one, great stuff , great stuff. We want more.
drop honest feedback on my first piece. Why i'm always smiling |
||||
|
|
|
10-04-04, 12:49 PM
|
#11
|
|||||||
|
New to RB
|
IP: 5092 6979
yea, i like ur poetic gesture also you have a way of recieving the audience...well done!!
|
|||||||
|
|
 |
| Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Linear Mode
