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Checking in to own this newb

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Cocky you are... and cock you have..

What i wished i got..

Luck you will need..

Herb you are..

Checking in I am

P.S.

This topic i hate
Kidding i am not

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I sit in these walls of suffering and reflect on my actions,
I miss the world I used to know of human interaction.
I look at myself and wonder why I did what I did,
Amid the people looking and, on vacation in Madrid.
If only I knew what my wife was thinking, cheating on me like that,
Guess I'll ask her in 15 years, I'll just talk through a baseball bat.
.
.
.
.
Woman:
OOoo ya, keep going I love this and you,
'What about your husband in jail?" I don't care I demand you!
He killed someone I could never love him again,
I thought he knew I was cheating on him with his best friend.
He said it was ok, or maybe I was just dreaming,
But I keep his picture here, framed so when he comes back he knows he used to have a meaning.

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i still have 2 hours.. im still thinking of showing or not lol

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She was beautiful and nice.. full of innocents..
It was unusuall..felt right.. fully intimate...
Day and night.. and night and day..
We played and fight.. sex just right away..
Felt as if she was the one.. loved more than anything..
She's priceless.. she's worth more than any bling..
This one day.. its was our two months anniversary..
I wanted to pop the question.. should of known she planned on hurtin me..
Concerning she.. i felt this feeling that was really odd..
I prayed before we had sex.. like what is the problem God?
All in a sudden she screams for help and someone comes in...
thinkin...where the fuck u come from?? looks like a look-a-like jin..
Sayin.."bitch get off her".. im like, "nigga wtf you talkin about??"
He sed.. "nigga shut the fuck up.." and takes a pistol out of his pouch..
im like wtf is this?? he gets me on the floor and puts me on arrest..
laughs alittle.. so does she.. as i see him put his hand on her breast..
thinking like wtf is this?? he sed "nigga your own girls framed you.."
And im all like..."wtf? nigga i have no idea of what you say'n dude.."
all in a sudden 1 year later.. im here stuck behind 27 metal bars..
Not cuz they tried to frame me.. but because in those bitches heads.. i left a bullet scar...

werd.. put in 4 minutes.. werd

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ok both of u had kinda the same content due that there was a woman involved and the creativity from both of u were nice and different good job to both of u but im gon have to go wit he most content and D had a longer verse and showed he put more thought ino his verse R was just too short but it was still good so both of u had their diff. aspect on the content and the structure was both evenly laid out but like i said i liked D verse better cuz first it was longer, so he had more vocab, and showed more creative talent in a longer verse so my
v// Dabatos

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I think it's gay his verse counts

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hmmm...this was a god topic.Better than the shitty picture i had to write to.

im not sure if dabatos dropped in time,but ama break it down anyway...

revelation...no hate but this wasnt no were near your top standards.I remember your battle last week were you did the word play on paradise lost....now that was hot,but this fell a lil bit short of those standards,and it was a decent topic too.i woulda liked to have seen more from you...still a decent drop though...opener was great...then it fell off a lil.....the last line was nice though...i really liked that...structure was a lil off...i dont really mind as long as i can read though...good drop..but id write more next time....

dabatos...now i dont agree with pen n paper that you took more time and put more thought into it..because you even said it only took you 4 minutes..but it was basic rhymin..still a good drop for 4 minutes..but no way can i say you had beter vocab...and thats prolly the best way to get my vote..it was a nice read though...but a lil to much easy of a read..nothin special...and the 'WTF's' started to get to me at the end there...still nice though...

overall i expected more from both given the topic...but still ama give it to revelation...JUST...id have to say better vocab..but not by much...and he put more effort in..it just needed to be longer..and dabs...nice verse..but a lil to simple for me....no hate...pz

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Living Legendz

I Promise Alot...But I Deliver Alot More...

...Topicals...

What Is Life?

Dark Disguise

thanx for the votes.. werd n rev... in my time i had 4 min lol

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ight this was a close battle... i wasn't really feeling the verses i dno why it was prolly the topic, i felt that dab went deeper into the topic and it was more enjoyable to read, his imagination was better in my opinion, thats why i'm giving it to him... dab gets my vote for having a more interesting and more enjoyable verse wit a better imagination rev u did good but ive seen you do alot better... i was looking forward to reading this aswell lol

no hate pz

v/dab

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Evo's Myspace

E.C- Untitled

meh, i really didn't like dabatos' ending....plus i didn't like how he used 'nigga' so much...it kinda was trashy, even for a 4 minute verse....rev put a little more thought into his, although his story was a little blahh....it was still more creative, and i enjoyed his more......yeah, topic did seem a little....-_-

oh well, keep up to both v/rev

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